Jeepers Creepers

Jeepers creepers where'd ya get those peepers, bug?

Well, it certainly wasn't from mommy, because I have green eyes...and daddy has brown.

Those beautiful baby blues are gorgeous and I'm curious to see whether or not they're going to stay blue or change color. I had BRIGHT blue eyes until around 15 months sooo now we wait...

But in the meantime...I will admire them :)





And the puppy enjoying the weather...because SURPRISE SURPRISE...the forecast was wrong and it is BEAUTIFUL.

HiHo HiHo It's Off to ...Wait a Second...

That's right, my ass is staying RIGHT HERE for two weeks!!! YAY! No work!

So on this rainy, disgusting, dreary day bug and I are cuddled on the couch watching Big Bang Theory.

Crappy-crap-crap iPhone photos but they pretty much say it all about my morning. My dog by the way (Sadee) is obsessed with bug. I think she's still trying to figure out what it is that she is...and I'm pretty sure she's convinced herself that bug is a puppy. Dogs are so weird... ESPECIALLY mine.

Oh, and a shout out to mother nature, thank you for the rain-filled 5 day forecast...good lookin' out.

Mommy and Daddy have only been DYING to go to the zoo...no big deal.

Oh well, perhaps the aquarium.

At least this morning I was greeted with a smile and an excited scream from bug this morning which resulted in my little black heart bursting with joy....and then all is right with the world again.

AND tomorrow we have a GIANTTTTT surprise coming...except I know what the surprise is...and you don't. So it's more of a surprise for you. Regardless...I digress. I am SOOOO excited. I have been waiting for this for a very long time.

This post will be short and sweet but there's more to come...THAT I can promise you.

Forever a Hazard

So a few days ago I had posted about my inability to do pretty much anything without causing harm to myself, people or things around me.

Welp...Ms.Hazard strikes again.

This time in the form of a tomato tornado.



No but seriously...this is my life.

This doesn't even show the extent of the mess...like that shit was on the curtains...and the floor.

I can't shower, or do laundry, or go for a walk, or make food, or eat like a normal human being...I somehow have to make a mess or break something or screw it up in some way shape or form. And tonight was in the form of an explosion.

At least I got this out of it.



Boyfriend makes dinner for me...puts me in charge of one thing..and whaddya know. Oh well it was yum yum.

Nose Goes

Nose Goes as defined by Urban Dictionary is "A quick observation game typically played to determine who will be the person to either go first or commit to an action all together. The last person not touching their nose is essentially "it"."

As a child "nose goes" determines all things of great importance, and in case you have never heard of it (which I have to imagine is impossible) it's ALWAYS used to determine something you don't want to do. ALWAYS. I mean really it only makes sense.

But regardless...Last night bug was laying on the couch between my boyfriend and I passed out...and then suddenly without warning she rips ass. Now this little girl doesn't fart like what I imagine a normal baby farts like. This baby farts like a full grown man after a fucking feast at Taco Bell...and it is IMPRESSIVE. Except this fart was accompanied by the most disgusting sounding poop noises (aren't you glad you decided to read this today). To which my boyfriend promptly looks at me and shouts "Nose Goes!".

Back in the day, on the playground, I was the queen of this. Simply because, the first person to THINK of using "nose goes" as a means of deciding essentially never has to do shit, it's everyone else that's blindsided. TECHNICALLY, nose goes should be played with 3 or more people because with two people you're essentially just telling them to go do whatever it is without them having a say in the matter, which is why this method of parenting is fucking GENIUS.

Now this opens up a wholllle new world of parenting. Ok...bring it. GAME ON. Bug's crying in the middle of the night cause she's hungry? "Nose Goes." Bug blew out a diaper up to her fucking hairline? "NOSE FUCKING GOES." ....I think I'm going to like this.