I Don't Do Bugs

I know I can speak for most women when I say how much bugs suck.

(Yes yes, I know it's ironic that I call my baby "bug"...but still)

I don't do bugs.

Anything with more than four legs freaks me the fuck out.

Around any insect I swear I go into a full blown panic attack mode and my body and brain stop functioning normally.

And everyone's all like "oh stop it, just kill the damn thing"
And I'm like "Um No, I'm not fucking moving, I swear it's looking at me and can smell my fear."

And then they say something completely ridiculous like "Just hit it with your shoe"
So I clearly respond by telling the person they're off their damn rocker if they think Im getting within a 3ft radius of that thing and then following up by smashing it with my favorite flip flops only to get nasty bug carcass all over my shoe, ya no thanks. All set.

I just...I don't do bugs.

Did I mention that my house IS COVERED IN BUGS?!?!

It's like something straight out of a fucking horror movie.

I USED to live in the boondocks, and even living in a remote area, surrounded by trees and things that make outrageously creepy noises at night, I still didn't even have close to the number of insect-y things as I do in this house.

So how have I survived all this time you ask?

Boyfriend. That's how.

This is every woman's agreement, it's in that invisible contract we sign when we enter a relationship. The same one that states that they control the remote, and we never talk about our periods...whatever. There's a clause somewhere in there that states the man has bug/spider duty.

Ahh yes, spiders. Which in my mind do NOT qualify as insects but more along the lines of 8 legged terrorists.

I don't do bugs...but I DEFINITELY don't do spiders. I'll take an army of pretty much any insect before I try and tackle a spider.

I mean obviously there are some that don't bother me nearly as much or even at all really like ants or ladybugs but there's nothing really scary or gross or evil looking about either of those.

SO it's summer now and boyfriend is on bug duty and I'm almost certain he's reconsidering and reevaluating our relationship as we speak. Last night I asked him at least three times to check the bed for bugs. Psycho I know, but lord knows if I found a bug on me in the middle of the night I would go absolutely bat shit and not sleep for the remainder of the night week...and then to make matters worse any little touch or hair or any semblance of foreign contact with my body would give me a friggin aneurysm.

Ugh this is just one thing I DO NOT LIKE about the summer months...

If I haven't mentioned it before...

I. DON'T. DO. BUGS.

Blegh.

A New Passion

I'm so fucking obsessed with this baby, I can't even contain myself. Do you see those eyes? Ugh...be still my heart.

And what I'm loving almost as much right now? Photography.

It's been like my drug. I'm like one of those crazy-ass tourist losers running around with their giant camera around their neck.

Yep. That's me. Total full-blown loser.

So I've decided once I get a bit more equipment and props I'd really like to start doing it for others. Starting out super cheap if not free and work my way to doing it semi-pro (if you will).

However, this mama needs practice. So practice I will.

But I sincerely haven't found a love, or passion, or drive to pursue something like this my whole life, it's a wonderful feeling to have a hobby I love, let me tell you. Expensive...but wonderful nonetheless.

Just A Bit More

Change is Inevitable

My sister in law (or soon to be) was so flipping cute today.

First of all, this woman (who I love to absolute pieces mind you) has been my lifeline and my sanity throughout my entire relationship with boyfriend, pregnancy, and now motherhood. She's a fucking cornucopia of advice and expertise and I relish in any and every tip, comment, or minute factoid she has to give me, as...more often then not...it's gold, pure gold.

She will never hesitate to tell you whether you're being a complete psychopath (texting her at all hours with obscene pregnancy freak outs) or if you're just doing the normal/acceptable crazy mom bullshit. She tells you how it is (in the nicest way possible of course).

Well, you would swear my sister-in-law was bug's mom. She posts more pictures of her and has more pictures of her around the house than she does of her two boys (I'm not kidding...and I believe they refer to it as their shrine). She loves bug beyond what an aunty does.

And today she texted boyfriend and I with this GIANT ass list of things she had noticed from the last time she'd seen her (which was last week mind you). But the more I read the list, and smile and laugh to myself, I realize how so very right she is.

Every single day bug changes.

She talks like her life depends on it, like she has the cure to world hunger or some shit stored in that little tiny head of hers that she insists on sharing with the world. She just babbles away incoherently, listening to the sound of her own voice, and by what I gather she sincerely enjoys the sound.

She's a baby fart machine, both in the actual and fake forms. She's taken to blowing bubbles and drooling like a rabid dog and makes all these new faces and sounds. She's getting taller and growing more hair. She's just starting to laugh and try to sit up on her own. She can hold things now, even if only for a moment or so. But all of this...all of these things...they're new...they're changing and transforming and it's the most insane and beautiful thing I've ever witnessed in my life.

I just want to soak it all in and remember it all because it seems just as I get used to one little nuance another one arises. She is ever changing, ever growing.

And I love that we get to share these moments with such wonderful people like her aunty. An aunty who texts me to tell me she's noticed all these little, tiny but amazing things.

I guess this post is just to say how so right (again) bug's Aunty really is. Change is inevitable, and with babies it is happening CONSTANTLY so as a parent I think I need to learn and teach myself to take a step back from my rather ridiculously fast paced life and better soak in all these changes. I don't want to miss any new noise, or tiny hair on her head, or milestone, or anything. I don't wanna miss a thing.




Sorry I had to.

Because not only is change inevitable it happens FAST. So to end tonights post I'm going to keep all this in mind and spend the remainder of my night squeezing the bejesus out of my not so little peanut.

Lindsay's Bruschetta Pasta Salad

The following recipe comes per my friend Lindsay and for the record it IS as delicious as it sounds.

I think the best part about this recipe is that it's simple. And not just simple in that it's easy to make but simple also due to the lack of ingredients. Color me crazy but recipes that I tend to lean toward generally have fewer ingredients.

And if you're wondering...yes I AM one of those nit-picky people. There are a lot of things I do not like for example: onions, olives, mushrooms, ANY seafood, MOST cooked veggies. If that makes me picky...then fine so be it. However, I've lived my whole life eating plenty of really delicious food that does not include any of the aforementioned foods. So recipes that have simple ingredients are what attract me most and THIS is one of them. Five ingredients, people...five.

Ingredients:

1 Box/lb of tri color rotini
1 1/4 cup of diced tomatoes
3/4 cup of shredded fat free mozzarella
2-4 finely chopped fresh basil leaves
Roughly 7oz of Balsamic Vinaigrette (to taste)

And that is IT. I'd like to make two notes.

1. You CAN used diced fresh mozzarella as well however Lindsay likes the continuity of the shredded. Plus lezbehonest it makes for a much easier and faster prep.
2. When Lindsay was texting me the recipe her phone autocorrected "tomatoes" to "panties". And for me that too is worth noting.


Prep:

Cook the rotini until tender (or al dente as I prefer it), throw in a bowl and mix with remaining ingredients.

It's THAT easy. And for the record, pretty damn healthy too.

If you try it, maybe for your fourth of July parties (hint, hint) be sure to let us know what you think!

Sick as a Dog.

You know, I never really understood that phrase.... Sick as a dog. My dog has never been sick so to be quite honest, it's fucking stupid if you ask me...but I digress...

I AM sick. And as much as it totally blows, I can't really complain (well too much, because I'm the queen of bitching and complaining so a-bitching I will go) because I haven't been sick in the longest time.

Generally speaking, I get sick all the time, but for some reason the past year has been an ok year...ya know...general pregnancy-bitching aside. You know what else sucks about being sick? Everything tastes like F%#*ING NOTHING. The chicken picatta I had for dinner tasted exactly like the sandwich I had for lunch and the english muffin I had for breakfast. At that point...why the hell am I even bothering to eat.

I'm tired, I'm groggy, I'm stuffy, I'm cough-y, and now I'm grumpy. So I've been forced into a love affair...with Mr. Quil. I've been downing dayquil like it's my damn job.

So I'm forced to go to work in this state of lunacy....and I can only imagine my colleagues feeling a little something like this:



So unfortunately tonight my post will be short and sweet...as I will be taking a bottle of Nyquil to the face tonight and going to bed far too early.

I believe I still have more pictures to post from last weekend, but to be perfectly honest I'm not entirely sure and as of right now I don't care to look. So off to bed for bug, bumpy, and I. FYI...I give everyone a stupid ass nickname and for the record bumpy is my dog, Sadee but I will further explain later on so for now, I have a bed with my name on it. Good-flippin-night.

Photobomb Part Three

Photobomb Part Dos

Rain Cloud

So you know those days where it feels like there's a raincloud following you around?

THAT, my friends, was yesterday.

All those awesome things I was talking about happening...they all went down the shitter.

First let me start with the house.

We drove up and I knew INSTANTLY it wasn't for us. You know how they say you just get that feeling in your wedding dress that it's "the one" because of the way it makes you feel? I always assumed it was the same with houses.

Well not only did I not get this feeling from this house but it was just NOT right for us. There was WAY too much that needed to be done that the pictures did not properly display. I don't mind cosmetic work...in fact part of me would kind of like a house that needs a little just because I can put a little of myself into the house and put all those interior design classes to good use.

But this was NOT just cosmetic work...EVERYTHING needed work. EVERYTHING. Ceilings, floors, walls, stairs, you name it, it needed fixing or replacing...and well as I like to say...

So that was shitty situation number 1.

Number 2?

That purchase I was talking about. YA...allow me to share.

Mommy has been wanting this Michael Kors wallet for wayyyy too long.

But I sincerely couldn't justify $110 for a wallet. Not cool, Michael, not cool. I'm a mommy now so I'm ballin on a budget.

Well out of nowhere mommy decided to take a look on craigslist and what do you know there's my wallet...just sittin there starin me in the face. And the clouds opened up and angels began to sing and all was right with the world again.

This woman was selling the EXACT wallet I wanted...barely used...for 40 dollars. Go ahead, ask me how excited I was. SO faster than I'm comfortable with admitting I texted this woman telling her I was interested and asked if I could come the next day. She explains that she's busy that day but the following day would be just fine.

So I text her the following morning asking if it was still ok for me to come pick it up at the time we discussed and WHAT DID SHE SAY?!?!

"I already sold it, sry"

YOU ALREADY SOLD IT?! YOU ALREADY FUCKING SOLD IT?!! I TOLD YOU I WANTED IT, WE MADE PLANS...AND YOU FUCKING SOLD IT?!?!

EVIL...PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL...ANDDDD TO TOP IT OFF YOU COULDN'T EVEN SPELL OUT SORRY.

KARMA IS COMING YOUR WAY LADY...YOU CAN COUNT ON IT!

Let me just say she is lucky she didn't give me her address because my ass would have been standing at her front door shouting a bunch of my favorite four letter words in her general direction.

*sigh*

And that's not even all of the crap I went through yesterday. I need a pick me up like pronto.

Hump Day

It's Hump Day, Baby!!!

It's been a loooooong two days let me tell you.

I have like zero time to myself.

And JUST enough time with bug and boyfriend, and girls wine night (the only two things I will MAKE time for)

But this week is turning out to be an extremely eventful one.

Boyfriend and I are looking at a house tonight! Yep that's right, you heard correctly. And I am OUT OF MY MIND excited. Like absolutely losing my shit excited because this momma needs to MOVE OUT. I'm just hoping it's the one (we will see, updates to come)

So we have the house viewing tonight, and I'm FINALLY almost done my DIY project (since it turned from easy DIY project to a please-dont-do-this-it's-far-too-time-consuming project).

I also have a purchase I'll be making tonight that I CANNOT wait to share with you, and I'm stoked out of my mind.

My New Blog should be ready any time now and I'm one step shy of peeing in anticipation.

And to top all this awesome-ness off, Bug, boyfriend, and I are spending the weekend in the Cape with my two best friends and their boyfriends. YEA BABY!!!

I'm all smiles. Photography opportunities out the wahoo. Family time, friends time, wine time, sunshine. Yep.

Right now... I am one happy mama.

Mini Bug Shoot

"You Look Tired"

This is the comment I got from our waitress at dinner tonight.

How do you even respond to that?

"Thanks..."?
"I know"?
"I get that a lot." ?
"Yep"

It's basically a blatant and outright insult and the nicest way to tell someone they look like shit and get away with it.

It's Thursday, it's rained practically every damn day, so the only thing that's missing from becoming a narcoleptic would be a radio following me around perpetually playing lullabies.

Sleepy is not a good look for me, my eyes get all dark and swollen like I just got a fist to the face, my face gets ghostly pale like I haven't seen the sun in my life...it's just all around bad.

I sleep great and really have no excuse to be tired...and yet...here I am lookin like ass and getting these comments.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

So needless to say I'm STOKED it's Friday tomorrow.

I can not WAIT to spend the weekend with my loves and my camera and just RELAX. Bring it on, Friday. Bring. It. On.

Crazy Town

These past few days have been absolutely bananas!

My schedule goes a little like this:

Wake up, engorge on breakfast food, get ready, drive to work, go to work, drive home, engorge on dinner, see bug and boyfriend for ohhhh MAYBE two hours, and then go to bed. BAM. Whole day and that's what I have to show for it.

Social media has become a thing of the past.

At least now I sincerely look forward to the weekends.

And with all this commotion going on, I didn't know monday from thursday and day from night, and what did I do?

I forgot my own mother's birthday.

I wish I were kidding.

Worst daughter award goes to? This guy.

I about lost my shit.

Who does that?

I effed up my DIY project and now have to go about it a wholllllle different way.

I can't wait to finally get into a comfortable groove again...except I'm sure when I do that will be when my schedule changes AGAIN in September.

But there is a little positivity in all this crazy.

I LOVE my job. I love the people I work with. And I love the money that comes with it ($$$$) and there's even MORE money to come. I can barely keep myself from rubbing my hands together and laughing maniacally.

My birthday is coming up :)

AND I'm getting a custom blog designed as we speak!

So there is some excitement to come but for now I must go. I'll leave you with two more pictures from the weekend.

This Weekend's Festivities

Boyfriend bug and I went to our friend's graduation party. We were so proud of her and wouldn't have missed it for the world. Especially since we love her and her family so much.

So of course we go and bug is passed around like a little hot potato. EVERYONE loves this little peanut. Here are a few pictures from the weekend.

'




Still working on my DIY project cause lezbehonest...I'm slooooow....but it's a work in progress.

As Promised

Photo bomb from tonight :)

















More tomorrow! And a DIY tutorial too!!

Calorie Switching and Saving

Let me tell you, as I fell off the wagon the last few weeks with dieting I'm back on and stronger than ever.

Let me tell you a little something about calorie SWITCHING and SAVING while calorie counting.

Now I think for me the best part about calorie counting is the fact that I get to have pretty much anything I want...including carbs...yep.

Super awesome fantastic.

Calorie Switching:

Anytime you can switch for a better option, and that option doesn't suck, DO IT.

For example, with a bread you can get a more whole grain or higher fiber bread. But I have this little secret for white bread. Ok you aren't a wheat fan, I like wheat but I know boyfriend doesn't.

Well the NORMAL white bread we buy has 100 calories per slice...BUT you know those obscenely large loafs of bread where the bread slices are kinda small and there's like 3692 in a bag? It's the one that's usually store brand. Well, that bread is 120 calories....for TWO slices. So assuming you're having a sandwich you're saving 80 calories right there. That's an OBSCENE amount of calories. And you're still eating bread, having carbs, and being conscious of your calories.

Calorie Saving:

While we're on the subject of sandwiches let me give you another example. My standard sandwich is a *AHEM* Turkey, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo. DELICIOUS and fairly nutritious.

Well this sandwich isn't so bad for you but there is a way to save calories without losing everything. Now with my sandwich the two worst (for you) ingredients are the mayo and the cheese. So in order to save a few calories I will get rid of one of them.

For me, as much as I'm obsessed with cheese, for a sandwich mayo is far more important, it adds a little moisture and acts as a mortar. Sweet. No brainer. And just by 86-ing the cheese I save about 100 calories.

And as a side note if I use the mayo made with olive oil I would save 40 calories per serving. Huh? Huh? Can I get some love?!

So let me show you my breakfast this morning and how I used these methods to save a shit ton of calories:



This was my breakfast this morning, my friends. Let me break it down for you.

My english muffin is a LIGHT english muffin. And normal english muffin is 130 calories, these are 90. Calories saved: 40

I topped it with cream cheese, totally weird I know but I had read before that it is an excellent switch to butter and oh my lanta were they right. It is around 70 calories for 2 tablespoons while butter or margarine is about 100 calories for 1 tablespoon. Crazy right? And let me tell you, at least for me, it doesn't taste weird at all...it actually makes it taste like a bagel...and ain't nothin wrong with bagels. And the calories saved for 2 tablespoons, my friends: a whopping 130 calories.

I also had a light and fit greek yogurt. My normal chobani yogurt is 140 calories...this one on the other hand is 80. Woop Woop! And if you're doing the math, I'll save you some time...calories saved: 60.

That's just in the food I'm consuming people....not the switches I made in my coffee. Add that up, I saved myself 230 calories by switching to other alternatives. That also makes my meal only 240 calories. Hot damn. I saved almost as many calories as I consumed! Does mama know what she's doing...or does mama know what she's doing? Want more ideas? This website has some great ideas for some swaps.



I know I've been an awful blogger lately but this new job has been taking up allllllll my free time, and then what little free time we have I now make sure is spend with bug and boyfriend. I'm now blogging with the only time I have left, my mornings. I'll definitely be trying to figure out how to make this work. But for now this is it. Let me know of any swaps you make that have made a difference! Comment and subscribe!

Zoo Day