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Why Me?

19 September 2013

Can we talk about the shit that only happens to me?

As we've discussed previously I'm kind of a hazard.

I never cease to amaze myself sometimes I swear.

Allow me to elaborate further with the following story:

The other day when I was giving bug a bath, I was cleaning the tub of her things when I decided that there wasn't enough room in the shower for her other bottle of Johnson's and Johnson's (and to be completely honest, I'm not entirely fond of the smell...the purple bedtime bath and the yellow classic one are my two favorites...but I digress) so I pick up the bottle.

The bottle, mind you, is not wet. It is also in no way slippery or anything of the sort but my dumb ass managed to drop it.

Now I've dropped shampoo/soap/you-name-it bottles 4 bajillion-million times in the shower.

And my life usually flashes before my eyes followed by the overwhelming fear of crushed toes and some riverdance-esk foot flailing action.


But in all those times not ONCE has anything happened to the bottle. Never ever.

Wanna know what happened this time around?

Feast Your Eyes:

This shit.

How is this even real life?

It just committed suicide.

And while part of me was all like..."Oh no, oh why?! Why meeeeee!?"

The other part was all like "Fine by me, I didn't really like ya that much anyway."

But still.

Stuff like this, would only happen to me.