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Silent Saturday

31 August 2013

Honesty Moment #1

28 August 2013

So I just read something really disgusting a few minutes ago.

Not disgusting in like a Miley Cyrus' VMA performance way...disgusting in a sick/twisted/what-kind-of-effed-up-world-do-we-live-in way.

I don't know if I've mentioned it previously but I've struggled with my weight for a VERY VERY long time. And I feel as though I have done everything shy of surgery to lose the damn weight.

Well, if it didn't make it bad enough that I struggle day in and day out in an attempt to be a less self conscious, more healthy person for myself and now for my daughter by losing weight...I then read this article.

If you don't have the time to read it, no worries...I'll paraphrase for you.

Basically it states that a gentleman who was used as a "before and after" success story for a diet pill company was paid to GAIN WEIGHT and stop working out in order to get a believable BEFORE picture for the company to use for its advertisements.

Oh but here's the kicker... this guy is a professional bodybuilder.

So they had him stuff his face, stop working out, to take their coveted "before" picture, then use his bodybuilding training, techniques, and dieting to lose the weight for the "after" photo.

Now I know media and advertising and all their dirty tricks but to me this is just so so sad. People like me who struggle with being overweight everyday.

Of course we look for the easy way out with diet pills, OF COURSE. Do you want to know why? Cause we've tried fucking everything else! It's not always an easy way out.... for some it's a last resort.

And you know what...even if it IS an easy way out...SO WHAT! There are so many people who I can only imagine look at people like me and say something along the lines of "how hard is it to eat a salad instead of a burger?"

Well, then I ask you the same thing. Some people don't understand because they don't have to, because their bodies aren't affected by food the way ours are.

I swear I even look at a cookie the wrong way and I can gain weight.

My body just reacts to food in a very negative manner. And some people will never understand that. Some people (many...MANY of my friends) can eat whatever they please without so much as a second thought. They have the metabolisms that people like me dream about. I could never in a million years fathom the day where I didn't second guess a single thing that I put into my body due to lack of consequence. To me that's the equivalence to winning the genetics lottery.

And yes, there are those who look the way they do because they work hard and they work for it every day, but there are also those who haven't stepped foot inside a gym and eat nothing but taco bell and have the figure of a Victoria Secret model.

Knowing how many people are overweight and are looking for help, looking for an answer, looking for a way out...this just makes me sad.

I know there's no miracle diet pill, and I have never used hydroxycut before and now I never plan to, but to give someone looking for help, who may be struggling just like me, someone who wants a little extra assurance in their diet and workout routine a false sense of hope...well THAT is just down right disgusting.

End Rant.

Busy Mama

25 August 2013

Busy mama!

Photoshoot tomorrow! Beyond excited.

Be prepared for an avalanche of photos.... and maybe a couple of this cute ass face :)

Letters To My Bug

24 August 2013

Littlest Bug,

Six Months. SIX. I just can't believe you are already half a year old. It's funny how everyone says how quickly time flies, because it does. And every second of that time I want to cherish. I just want to keep you this little beautiful baby for as long as I can.

You amaze me every single day at how smart and loving you are, even for such a tiny person. You have had super strength since the day you were born, and have never ceased to astonish everyone around you.

Your laugh is infectious and your smile lights up an entire room. People are happier when they are around you. Not just mommy and daddy. EVERYONE.

I love how you love and show love. I love when you want to be kissed and cuddled you grab at a person's face with both hands and pull them into you.

You are a parrot, anything you hear you want to imitate. Even if it's yourself. You love to fake cough and as weird as that is, I can't get enough of it. You love to talk and ramble and hear your voice.

You love it when daddy makes you dance and you love to shake that cute little booty.

I can already tell you're going to be a stubborn one, just like mommy and daddy, but I can also tell you're going to be brave, courageous, thoughtful, and independent. You'll probably also have mommy's attitude.

I hope that you are curious, and kind, driven and ambitious. I hope that you are adventurous, benevolent, and compassionate.

I hope you have your Daddy's positivity and selflessness, his endurance and generosity. And if you ever lose your way and you feel as though you are drifting out to sea, I know that Daddy will be your anchor, as he always has been for me.

Most importantly, I hope you will learn to have as much faith and love in yourself as I do and always will in you.

I cannot wait to see what these next six months bring.

Love you always,


Wide Awake

23 August 2013

So I tried to sneak in bug's nursery all ninja status and take some pictures of her taking a nap.

I was light as an effing feather on my feet...

*snap* one picture *snap* two pictures... WIDE AWAKE.


She's a light sleeper...just like her mama.

Oh least I got a few good ones :)

It's a damn good thing she's cute.

Simple Simple

The Quilt

20 August 2013

So a family friend of ours just finished making a quilt for bug.

There is nothing in the world that makes me feel more insignificant and talentless than someone who has artistic ability...since everything I do is mediocre. And that's not a stab at myself it's the truth. When it comes to talent, I got nothin'.

I can love like nobody's business and have a relatively good sense of judging someone's character. But I'm not really book smart, or musically inclined, and I'm certainly not agile or good at sports of any kind. So anyone who has a creative bone in their body, or a talent bone of any sort...I find myself wishing I had that. But the reason for this little rant.

This woman has more talent and creativity in her pinkie than I do in my whole body.

This is a patch on the amazingly soft fleece side of the quilt that she hand sewed.



God I wish I had that kind of talent, and speaking of talent remind me to show you guys the crochet animals boyfriend had made for bug by a coworker of his. Talk about gifted.

But for now I'll sit in the shadows and ogle at their craftsmanship.


I have totally been slacking.

Because this weekend my little fan bam went camping in Maine!

Yep. Spur of the moment last minute trip.

We drove 4 hours with bug who, unlike most babies, DESPISES the car. Well not so much the car as the seat that confines her.

Talk about a miserable baby.

When we finally got there at 10 we had to set up in the pitch black darkness.

Thank god we had more hands to help us because our tent was ginormous.

We finally get the damn thing up, the pack and play is ready for a very tired bug, and now time for our brand new double high air mattress. The one thing both boyfriend and I were swearing up and down that we needed.

Earlier on we discovered that the pump boyfriend bought to go along with the mattress was electric. Exceppptttt in the middle of the damn wilderness at a campground where the electricity is seriously lacking that will do diddly squat.

So before we left for the trip boyfriend found my old battery powered pump, but the batteries were dead, and because it takes those massive-ass batteries that no one ever has on hand we figured we'd buy some on the way.

When we arrived at the campground 2 minutes before they closed the gates I checked in and checked the mini store they had there, and sure enough...batteries. HALLELUJAH.

Now there I was indian style in the middle of the tent ready to blow up this bed and get some flippin shut eye. We throw the brandy new batteries in the pump turn it on.....and nothing. Not even a peep.

So naturally I yell at boyfriend and was like "put these in the right way"...he tries them again...turning them 30293 different ways when finally, he notices it's all corroded....and never going to work.


And now Bug is crying, like her limbs are being torn off, god knows why as she should have been exhausted. And it feels like it's 40 degrees outside.

I start flipping the hell out so boyfriend takes the mattress and treks off to the bathrooms to try and blow the damn thing up using the electricity there.

About 15 minutes later he comes back...with a half inflated bed. Why half inflated you ask? Good question! Because I'm pretty sure I asked the same thing of him but included a selection of profane words sprinkled in there for good measure.

Apparently the bathroom door would not accommodate a fully blown up air mattress to get through.

Great, just fucking great.

You know what's worse than sleeping on a half inflated bed? Aside from sleeping on broken glass or a pile of knives, nothing. Nothing.

My ass was on the ground, my head was being enveloped and crushed between the "pillow" portion of the mattress and boyfriend and I both sank in to the middle of the bed crushing each other.

Needless to say I woke up one angry, sleep deprived mama.

When we woke up, first order of business was to grab Aunty and her boyfriend (who we went camping with) and head to the nearest Walmart. We exchanged the electric pump for a battery operated one and filled my tummy with lots and lots of coffee and from there our trip FINALLY got better.

We returned back to the campsite blew up the mattress, which was extremely comfortable by the way when properly inflated. We went to the beach and bug had a blast!

It made me sad to leave but as much as I love camping I can only go for so long. This time I definitely wish we could have stayed longer, but that wasn't in the cards really, as it was so spur of the moment.

Boyfriend and I decided we want to make sure we have annual family camping trips every year. And I totally agree.

And the kicker to all this?

I brought my camera and didn't take one single picture. Why?

Because my dumb ass thought the battery was dead when in reality it wasn't even IN the camera.

Ugh. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Bug's Babblefest

16 August 2013

Bug just started her talking and blathering incoherently phase as I've mentioned previously.

I don't know if it's just cause I'm a mommy but it is so flippin cute.

No matter what I'm doing or how important it is, the second she starts her babblefest I instantly tune in.

So obviously I've been coaching her like no tomorrow.

I'm like "Maaaaa...Maaaaa"

And she's all like "RAAAAA RAAAAAA"


"MA...." *Pause*




She loves to "rarara" all day like the world's greatest cheerleader.

This is our typical morning...

*sigh* So in love.

Grumpy Bug

14 August 2013

Hi, I'm Bug and I have a black belt in Grumpy.

Engagement Shoot

So pursuing this whole photography thing has been a bit of a challenge.

Am I giving up?

Oh hell no.

Not in a million-bajillion years.

Yep I said it. Bajillion.

SO have I mentioned I have my first engagement shoot set up?

Yep :) Beyond elated.

But I'm nervous. They're this wonderful, amazing, adorable couple and I REFUSE to let them down.

I explained to the bride-to-be that I am just starting out and trying to get off my feet.

I am doing it for her for free and gave her the link to my wondrous blog to get an idea of the little bits of photography I've done so far. You have to start somewhere right?

We spoke about locations, the look she was going for, if there were any poses she liked or wished to incorporate, and when she'd like to do the shoot.

And now that we have everything set up, I'm getting excited and nervous.

I think oftentimes I doubt myself too much.

So I thought to myself, well hey why not get some practice.

Anddd last night I asked my best friend and her boyfriend to do a practice shoot with me, her excited reaction totally took me by surprise.

I finally feel at ease knowing I can get in some practice with them and knowing them will certainly help make everything a bit more seamless. So we are off to Newport for their shoot which I've been dying to go to.

For some reason it's been SO long since I've been even though it can't be more than a half hour 40 minutes away from where I live.

And even though my bride is looking for a completely different setting I've been dying to do a beach/dock shoot to get some shots similar to these:

(Found these gorgeous shots on Pinterest, done by Jenna Christine Photography)

I have A LOT of ideas and I'm beyond excited.

So be sure to keep a look out for those pictures coming somewhat soon thanks to my wonderful best friend Jen!!!

Talk, Talk, Talk

13 August 2013

So bug has started talking...well in a manner of speaking.

She just non stop babbles & coos. She loves to hear her own voice.

I've been told that means she's going to be a singer...HAA! Not if she's related to me.

But regardless it's insanely adorable.

I'm beginning to think she's part parrot. Anytime she hears a noise or sound she latches on to it like her life depends on it and repeats and repeats and repeats it.

This past week she's been imitating a dinosaur "Ra...Raaaa...RAAAAA" 24/7...Don't believe me?

I managed to catch some of it on Video while mommy and daddy were out shopping.

Sometimes I just want to squeeze her she's so flippin cute. But then I remind myself that a year from now I'll be missing the silent voiceless baby.

I suppose that's what to be expected when you have a girl.

And considering I never shut the eff up I suppose I'm even more screwed.

But for now, I will be enjoying these adorable little ramblings.

The Photoshop Difference

12 August 2013

Alright. We need to have an honesty moment please.

The last 36 hours I have been TIRELESSLY searching the internet for tutorials and anything I could get my hands on in regard to how to understand Elements.

Because to me right now, it's the equivalent of reading chinese.


SO. This smart mama came across the most wonderful website on the face of this earth. The CoffeeShop Blog is run by Rita, my savior.

She so easily explained how to set up actions (for the photoshop learning impaired and NON impaired), to my make life a hell of a lot easier. Her actions and presets are FREE and STUNNING.

So I did a bit of a test with a few old pictures and and a new one tell me if you like the photoshop difference.

This is the first original picture of Bug, pre edited (and a sneak peek of a bit more of the crochet giveaway I have coming up) :

This is edited with the program I was using:

Now WITH Photoshop:

There are things like definitely like about each picture but the depth of the picture from photoshop is what really draws me.

Now for an oldie.


My Old Editing Program:

Now Photoshop:

And in Black and White:

I LOVE using actions, they're so easy to use!

Does anyone have any favorite free actions websites or actions in general they love?!

Share away!