Crossing the Line

Let's talk about how busy I am, shall we?

I work 8 hours a day now (YAY!) I spend a total of two hours driving to and from work.

Now I live in RI...that's the length of the state and in ANYBODYS eyes, an unacceptable commute.

And then what little time I have left in my day, I spend with Boyfriend and Bug.

I'm so glad to be working again and making great money doing something I love, but this commute is KILLER and I'm itching DYING to move. It'll put us closer to both Boyfriend's job as well as my own, AND our family.

And now we'd definitely be able to comfortably afford it.

I'm so excited, except now, my home life is ruined.

Don't worry...I'll add some gifs to lighten the mood, so allow me to elaborate.

All of us live with my mom.

It was intended to be a short term, until-we-get-off-our-feet-and-save-some-money thing, and then we got preggers. HA.

Well it's been about a year and a half now and let me tell you. All is NOT well.

My relationship with both my parents has always been the same. When it's good it's great and when it's bad...well to be frank, it's a living hell.

If Hell had a Hell...that's where I'd be right now.

My mom and I have always butt heads but the other night she SEVERELY crossed a line that should never ever be crossed.

Here's a little background.

I had a pretty damn good day nannying (the baby is extremely well-bahaved he makes Bug look like a demon child haha) well anyway, regardless of my good day, it still makes for a reaallllly long day.

I need to wake up at 7 to be ready to leave by 7:45 so I am able to drop Bug off at my mother-in-laws (on the days she's there), and be at the family's home by 10 of 9 which is what I usually aim for. I leave at 5, pick up Bug, and don't arrive home until about 6:30.

All that driving, man. Ugh. Did I mention Vi (that's what I call my SUV...short for Violet...yes she's purple..stop judging) gets like .7 miles to the gallon.

Ugh.

Well anyway long story, even longer...I get home and decide to give the baby a bath before bed. I spent almost a half hour between getting everything ready, the bath, and then getting Bug ready for bed I was beyond tired. She was almost done but became super restless and squirmy...just like she always does and I only had to brush her two little teeth and make a bottle and was done.

So I decided to put her in the crib so I wouldn't have to corral her and SURPRISE she was pissed.



Bug has been very tantrum-y lately. It's been a giant pain in the ass but we're trying to work through and solve it...WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I left her in her crib to throw her fit while I did a little cleaning up and got her toothbrush and bottle ready.

Now here's where the issue starts.

My mom, who loves to act like super grandma, came out of her room and instantly I knew why. Before I even gave her the chance I stopped her in her path and said "she's fine, she's throwing a tantrum, I'm making her a bottle, I'm almost done" so she huffed, turned on her heel and walked back into her room.

Now as a parent, I refuse to give in to her tantrums, I REFUSE to let her think that she can throw herself back and cry in a fit of rage because she's angry and KNOW I'll just go pick her up and give her what she wants. To me, that's just bad parenting. What are you teaching her at that point?

So now another, probably 2 minutes has passed and she's still really angry, I had made a feeble attempt at brushing her teeth and really wasn't getting anywhere so I had JUSTTTTT finished making her bottle when my mom storms in shouting "You can't let her cry like that!"

I look at her enraged and say "Do NOT pick her up"

And what does she do, she picks her right the fuck up.

I instantly felt my cheeks BURN with rage.

I looked at her and through gritted teeth and said "I'm her mother, put her down"

And what does she say?

"No!"



I was boiling...like if you were to take my blood pressure at that very moment you would have thought I was on the verge of a heart attack or stroke.

I looked at my mom and Bug who had instantly stopped crying because she had gotten her way and I said "she's not hurt, she's not sad, or scared she's throwing a fit, now put her down, I'm her parent, I say what goes." Of course boyfriend is no where in sight to back me up....and she tells me no again.

I don't know how I didn't throw that woman out the window. I was seething. I threw the bottle, I had just made to the floor and walked out. I needed to breathe. I couldn't believe my own mother disrespected me. How am I supposed to grow and learn as a parent if my own keeps intervening?

And what's more is we can't blame Bug for acting the way she does if she is not receiving equal forms of discipline.

This was 2 days ago, and last night was even worse, that will stay under wraps as I am embarrassed for my mom at her outrageous behavior but she still seems to think she has done no wrong.

Has this happened to anyone else with their parents or have any advice? It'd be more than appreciated.

Why Am I So Excited For...

Christmas?!

Like this never happens.

I mean normally I'm excited but I'm like



Excited.

For all things Christmas/Wintery like:

And to get lots of baby christmas shots like this one:

And then watch alllllll the Christmas movies I can until my brain explodes

The Best Kind of Awesome

Yesterday I received a call that's going to change my life.

And not only that. It was the best call I've ever received.

No we're not having another baby yet.

So I screened a call yesterday from a number I knew was one of two people.

But because the number was a texas number I wasn't familiar with it and I didn't know which of the two people it was. So I screened that shit like I was the president. Telling myself that if it was important the person would leave a message.

And sure enough...they did.

Remember that temporary position I had had?

It was a nannying position for a family.

I have always always wanted to work with children, but working in an early learning center (which I have) pays terrible.

Good to know the people that watch your children (and 19 other children at the same time) make just above minimum wage. It's sick, if you ask me.

But regardless, nannying was my next best option (a better option really) less children and far more pay.

Even though I've babysat since I was 12 for multiple families, worked at a summer camp, and worked at an early learning preschool, and now being a mother, I've repeatedly been told I don't have enough "experience". Whether that be nannying, infant, or just plain experience experience.

For three years it was the same response. Over and over and over.

Well the temp position was great but it was just that, temporary.

And just like all the others the nanny that was chosen was due to experience.

Yesterday the call I received was from the mom I temporarily nannied for.

She said her new nanny had started and that it just wasn't working for her. She said that she knew she had picked her because on paper she looked better. She had the infant experience she was looking for.

And then she said the one thing that made my heart melt.

"As cheesy as it sounds I just kept thinking to myself, she's not Kerin"

It brought tears to my eyes.

This doesn't happen, like ever. ESPECIALLY to someone like me.

She was the first person to actually give me a chance, and even though it was just temporarily until the nanny she had chosen over me could start, it was still enough to prove myself. I never received that chance with anyone else.

For her to admit she was wrong in her decision and decide she was happier with me? How is that real?!

It is TWICE (no really, twice) the money I would be making at an early learning center, and I have 1 baby instead of 20 4 year olds.

And it's the most money I'll have made at ANY job.

AND because of all this money coming in, boyfriend, Bug, and I will FINALLLLLLLLYYYY be able to move out, comfortably.

This is a turning point in my life and I couldn't be happier.

My dream job and now boyfriend and I will finally be able to move on with our lives and have our little family together in our own little place.

Now if only we can find a place that accepts lazy golden retrievers. The hunt is on!