Crossing the Line

Let's talk about how busy I am, shall we?

I work 8 hours a day now (YAY!) I spend a total of two hours driving to and from work.

Now I live in RI...that's the length of the state and in ANYBODYS eyes, an unacceptable commute.

And then what little time I have left in my day, I spend with Boyfriend and Bug.

I'm so glad to be working again and making great money doing something I love, but this commute is KILLER and I'm itching DYING to move. It'll put us closer to both Boyfriend's job as well as my own, AND our family.

And now we'd definitely be able to comfortably afford it.

I'm so excited, except now, my home life is ruined.

Don't worry...I'll add some gifs to lighten the mood, so allow me to elaborate.

All of us live with my mom.

It was intended to be a short term, until-we-get-off-our-feet-and-save-some-money thing, and then we got preggers. HA.

Well it's been about a year and a half now and let me tell you. All is NOT well.

My relationship with both my parents has always been the same. When it's good it's great and when it's bad...well to be frank, it's a living hell.

If Hell had a Hell...that's where I'd be right now.

My mom and I have always butt heads but the other night she SEVERELY crossed a line that should never ever be crossed.

Here's a little background.

I had a pretty damn good day nannying (the baby is extremely well-bahaved he makes Bug look like a demon child haha) well anyway, regardless of my good day, it still makes for a reaallllly long day.

I need to wake up at 7 to be ready to leave by 7:45 so I am able to drop Bug off at my mother-in-laws (on the days she's there), and be at the family's home by 10 of 9 which is what I usually aim for. I leave at 5, pick up Bug, and don't arrive home until about 6:30.

All that driving, man. Ugh. Did I mention Vi (that's what I call my SUV...short for Violet...yes she's purple..stop judging) gets like .7 miles to the gallon.

Ugh.

Well anyway long story, even longer...I get home and decide to give the baby a bath before bed. I spent almost a half hour between getting everything ready, the bath, and then getting Bug ready for bed I was beyond tired. She was almost done but became super restless and squirmy...just like she always does and I only had to brush her two little teeth and make a bottle and was done.

So I decided to put her in the crib so I wouldn't have to corral her and SURPRISE she was pissed.



Bug has been very tantrum-y lately. It's been a giant pain in the ass but we're trying to work through and solve it...WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I left her in her crib to throw her fit while I did a little cleaning up and got her toothbrush and bottle ready.

Now here's where the issue starts.

My mom, who loves to act like super grandma, came out of her room and instantly I knew why. Before I even gave her the chance I stopped her in her path and said "she's fine, she's throwing a tantrum, I'm making her a bottle, I'm almost done" so she huffed, turned on her heel and walked back into her room.

Now as a parent, I refuse to give in to her tantrums, I REFUSE to let her think that she can throw herself back and cry in a fit of rage because she's angry and KNOW I'll just go pick her up and give her what she wants. To me, that's just bad parenting. What are you teaching her at that point?

So now another, probably 2 minutes has passed and she's still really angry, I had made a feeble attempt at brushing her teeth and really wasn't getting anywhere so I had JUSTTTTT finished making her bottle when my mom storms in shouting "You can't let her cry like that!"

I look at her enraged and say "Do NOT pick her up"

And what does she do, she picks her right the fuck up.

I instantly felt my cheeks BURN with rage.

I looked at her and through gritted teeth and said "I'm her mother, put her down"

And what does she say?

"No!"



I was boiling...like if you were to take my blood pressure at that very moment you would have thought I was on the verge of a heart attack or stroke.

I looked at my mom and Bug who had instantly stopped crying because she had gotten her way and I said "she's not hurt, she's not sad, or scared she's throwing a fit, now put her down, I'm her parent, I say what goes." Of course boyfriend is no where in sight to back me up....and she tells me no again.

I don't know how I didn't throw that woman out the window. I was seething. I threw the bottle, I had just made to the floor and walked out. I needed to breathe. I couldn't believe my own mother disrespected me. How am I supposed to grow and learn as a parent if my own keeps intervening?

And what's more is we can't blame Bug for acting the way she does if she is not receiving equal forms of discipline.

This was 2 days ago, and last night was even worse, that will stay under wraps as I am embarrassed for my mom at her outrageous behavior but she still seems to think she has done no wrong.

Has this happened to anyone else with their parents or have any advice? It'd be more than appreciated.

The Last Day

My lazy ass has yet to blog today... But there is some good that will come from it. Actually, lots of it.

So first boyfriend, bug, and I spent a larrrrrge portion of our day at the zoo. It was pretty awesome. Admittedly though, it actually kind of sucked considering the last zoo boyfriend and I went to was the San Diego Zoo.... Which totally makes our little zoo look like a giant pile of shit... But that's ok.

Actually, now that I think about it... I do happen to have some pictures from that zoo trip that are half decent so ill have to post them sometime.

But giant pile of shit or not the zoo was great. Especially for not having been to one in so long. Boyfriend loves animals. When it comes to animals boyfriend is a borderline looneybin. Practically any animal you throw his way he could spew some random useless fact about it..I swear its like the part of his brain that should be used for storing typical man pastimes like a love of sports has been completely erased and replaced with an infinite list of useless animal facts.

Even though the only few legitimate animals at our zoo are the giraffes, elephants, and one really old really awesome giant-ass turtle it was still fun.

I have a cornucopia of pictures that ill be posting tomorrow so prepare accordingly.

We then spent some time with my future sister in laws who made me strawberry shortcake that I would rip off any one of my limbs to eat again. A-freakin-mazing.

And then to make a pretty freakin sweet day better just as boyfriend and I are about to journey home for bed boyfriend spots a wagon being thrown out. And not just any wagon.. Oh no... A radio flyer.

From what I understand, as I was not near it enough to be able to decipher for myself, it smelt like a mix of swamp and big foot's asshole...which is likely the reason it was curbside. But that's not something a little cleaning can't fix. So boyfriend and I are taking it upon ourselves to fix her up. Clean, Power wash, and repaint and have ourselves a little DIY project... Which I will be sure to post pictures of. It will be PERFECT for pictures once bug's a little older and hell, who doesn't want a radio flyer.

This mama unfortunately is off to bed, because tomorrow is my first day of work at my new job! :) finally. I'm excited and nervous but ready..so so ready for a new chapter in my life. Bring. It. On.

Playing Around

We had SO much fun yesterday. First we went to boyfriend's best friends house. The guy has an indoor pool that would practically put the Taj Mahal to shame. We went swimming for a bit and then we ended the day with the drive in.

Bug was so good..she went in the pool with mommy for a little even though it was kinda chilly.

Only two more days until my new job starts and even though it's not the end of the world I will not be able to take a single day off while in training. The training portion of my new job is THREE MONTHS long. And as crazy and drawn out as that seems...I couldn't be happier.

I had ZERO training at my last job and consistently felt inadequate. I'm excited to be going into a position where I am actually going to know what I'm talking about to a customer, instead of talking out my ass.

I want to make the best of these last two days especially since boyfriend is home too.

The zoo sounded like a fantastic idea...until I found out today is supposed to be hotter than the surface of the fucking sun, so I'm thinking indoors is more my style today. Although I am in desperate need of some color, alabaster is NOT a good look for me.

Anywayyyy...still trying to come up with a game plan, but for now I'll leave you with a few of my shots from yesterday.

Here's to You, Nikon

Today I've decided I'm going to spend some quality time with my camera.

I only have 3 days left before my new job starts and I really want to enjoy it as much as possible.

I have a new case/carrier for it coming in today. I had yet to buy one for it and one of the few annoyances of a dslr is it's clunky-ness. Thanking the ebay gods for the sweet ass deal I got on it too. I'll be sure to post a picture as soon as that bad larry gets delivered. On a 1-10 level of excitement scale, 1 being a Nova documentary and 10 being Disney World, I'm at like a Tom-Cruise-jumping-on-Oprah's-Couch excited.



I'll be posting more pictures and updates today for sure but I'll leave you with these in the meantime. I know, you're welcome.

Good Job

I think there is nothing more undervalued in the workplace than telling an employee they've done a good job. I'm not happy with the number of jobs I've had in the last two years or so. And while my reasoning for leaving each job is VASTLY different (co-worker stealing from other co-workers,temp-position, moving to a new house)... I can't remember the last time someone really truly came up to me and thanked me for a job well done. The temp position I held for a summer was in manufacturing. It was the most monotonous job on earth, but the people were fantastic and they CONSTANTLY rewarded you with a smile and "Great Job!" if your work was quick and quality (which mine ALWAYS was...obviously). And really...nothing motivated me more as an employee than hearing someone tell me they appreciated my work. I don't need a bonus or incentives every time I do a good job...really...I just want someone to APPRECIATE my hard work on occasion.

And what's better, oftentimes not only will employers NOT give you a pat on the back when deserved but when you do mess up or get slower or whatever the issue may be they NAG THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. So let me get this straight...you want to keep me as an employee right? So why the hell are you only making a point to tell me when I've done something WRONG as opposed to the many times I do something well or RIGHT.

Also,in order to DO a good job one must know wtf they're doing, am I right? In order to know what to do, and how to do said job best, one must be trained. Even if you are a freaking professional at what you do, different places may have different policies and rules...whatever it may be. Regardless of how much you know walking into a job, you NEED to be trained. And what happens when you aren't? Well...you look like an asshole of course. That, my friends, is the other thing that seriously grinds my gears. I am MORE than eager to learn. At any position, really. Because I always strive to make people happy, to get that "good job" at the end of the day. And I can't do that if people won't take the time to help me. Long story short, today's post is a Debbie Downer Monday post. It doesn't help that today started out with a skunk....more on THAT later I promise. But for now, I may be sensing a change in the VERY near future....and one that could very well change my perspective on things, for the way WAY better.