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Crossing the Line

15 November 2013

Let's talk about how busy I am, shall we?

I work 8 hours a day now (YAY!) I spend a total of two hours driving to and from work.

Now I live in RI...that's the length of the state and in ANYBODYS eyes, an unacceptable commute.

And then what little time I have left in my day, I spend with Boyfriend and Bug.

I'm so glad to be working again and making great money doing something I love, but this commute is KILLER and I'm itching DYING to move. It'll put us closer to both Boyfriend's job as well as my own, AND our family.

And now we'd definitely be able to comfortably afford it.

I'm so excited, except now, my home life is ruined.

Don't worry...I'll add some gifs to lighten the mood, so allow me to elaborate.

All of us live with my mom.

It was intended to be a short term, until-we-get-off-our-feet-and-save-some-money thing, and then we got preggers. HA.

Well it's been about a year and a half now and let me tell you. All is NOT well.

My relationship with both my parents has always been the same. When it's good it's great and when it's bad...well to be frank, it's a living hell.

If Hell had a Hell...that's where I'd be right now.

My mom and I have always butt heads but the other night she SEVERELY crossed a line that should never ever be crossed.

Here's a little background.

I had a pretty damn good day nannying (the baby is extremely well-bahaved he makes Bug look like a demon child haha) well anyway, regardless of my good day, it still makes for a reaallllly long day.

I need to wake up at 7 to be ready to leave by 7:45 so I am able to drop Bug off at my mother-in-laws (on the days she's there), and be at the family's home by 10 of 9 which is what I usually aim for. I leave at 5, pick up Bug, and don't arrive home until about 6:30.

All that driving, man. Ugh. Did I mention Vi (that's what I call my SUV...short for Violet...yes she's purple..stop judging) gets like .7 miles to the gallon.

Ugh.

Well anyway long story, even longer...I get home and decide to give the baby a bath before bed. I spent almost a half hour between getting everything ready, the bath, and then getting Bug ready for bed I was beyond tired. She was almost done but became super restless and squirmy...just like she always does and I only had to brush her two little teeth and make a bottle and was done.

So I decided to put her in the crib so I wouldn't have to corral her and SURPRISE she was pissed.



Bug has been very tantrum-y lately. It's been a giant pain in the ass but we're trying to work through and solve it...WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I left her in her crib to throw her fit while I did a little cleaning up and got her toothbrush and bottle ready.

Now here's where the issue starts.

My mom, who loves to act like super grandma, came out of her room and instantly I knew why. Before I even gave her the chance I stopped her in her path and said "she's fine, she's throwing a tantrum, I'm making her a bottle, I'm almost done" so she huffed, turned on her heel and walked back into her room.

Now as a parent, I refuse to give in to her tantrums, I REFUSE to let her think that she can throw herself back and cry in a fit of rage because she's angry and KNOW I'll just go pick her up and give her what she wants. To me, that's just bad parenting. What are you teaching her at that point?

So now another, probably 2 minutes has passed and she's still really angry, I had made a feeble attempt at brushing her teeth and really wasn't getting anywhere so I had JUSTTTTT finished making her bottle when my mom storms in shouting "You can't let her cry like that!"

I look at her enraged and say "Do NOT pick her up"

And what does she do, she picks her right the fuck up.

I instantly felt my cheeks BURN with rage.

I looked at her and through gritted teeth and said "I'm her mother, put her down"

And what does she say?

"No!"



I was boiling...like if you were to take my blood pressure at that very moment you would have thought I was on the verge of a heart attack or stroke.

I looked at my mom and Bug who had instantly stopped crying because she had gotten her way and I said "she's not hurt, she's not sad, or scared she's throwing a fit, now put her down, I'm her parent, I say what goes." Of course boyfriend is no where in sight to back me up....and she tells me no again.

I don't know how I didn't throw that woman out the window. I was seething. I threw the bottle, I had just made to the floor and walked out. I needed to breathe. I couldn't believe my own mother disrespected me. How am I supposed to grow and learn as a parent if my own keeps intervening?

And what's more is we can't blame Bug for acting the way she does if she is not receiving equal forms of discipline.

This was 2 days ago, and last night was even worse, that will stay under wraps as I am embarrassed for my mom at her outrageous behavior but she still seems to think she has done no wrong.

Has this happened to anyone else with their parents or have any advice? It'd be more than appreciated.