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Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Delicious Red Velvet Cupcakes

11 August 2013

Sometimes Mommy shouldn't drink while baking.

I don't know what it is but somehow I always manage to eff it up.

Like remember that time I promised you a Recipe . Yea...I may have had a glass of wine or two while attempting to make that abomination of a dessert as well.

Now here's the awesome thing about baking. It's REALLY REALLY hard to screw it up ...AND have it taste terrible.

Unless it is over-cooked or you used an abundance of one ingredient like 57 eggs instead of 3. But for the most part, you add a bit more oil, it'll be more moist, you add a bit more chocolate...well lezbehonest that's not an issue...It's more with your everyday cooking that'll really screw you over. Too much salt...too much garlic...too much hot pepper flake...all bad..very very bad.

So now I'm sure you're asking yourself what the hell it was I actually did...

Welppp, I added too much of the one ingredient that Paula Deen holds dearest to her heart.

Butter.

So how much did I add?

A half a stick.

Not bad you say to yourself...how much did it call for in the recipe?

Well...therein lies the issue.

None.

Not even a little.

So where the hell did I come up with the idea of putting the butter in?

Well, if you ask me the box is stupid.

And to a perfectly coherent person it's probably fairly easy to comprehend, but when you've had a little to drink and you're excited at the prospect of eating red velvet cupcakes...when read quickly the directions can be misconstrued.

Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

The FROSTING requires a half a stick of butter, because somebody had their wheaties the morning they decided at the Duncan Hines meeting that they were going to INCLUDE frosting in this particular box.

GENIUS.

AND it had a fancy frosting bag so I could get all badass cupcake-decorator on those suckers.

Now normally adding butter to something isn't necessarily a bad idea.

Except for the fact that recipe already called for a bunchhhh of oil. And generally speaking in terms of baking a recipe will call for EITHER butter or oil..not both.

So I then proceeded to follow the rest of the recipe accurately.

I threw them into the oven, crossed my fingers, and prayed to the cupcake gods that I didn't just totally eff up my glorious dessert.

When the timer sounded I half expected them to be these gloppy nasty oily red blob things. But they were perfectly formed cupcakes.

Still skeptical I waited for them to cool (which was nearly impossible mind you) and frosted them.

I tasted the first one with my eyes closed like I was about to ingest a live bomb and you know what?

It wasn't half bad, in fact, it was tasty. Really tasty. Moist...a little rich, but definitely tasty.

I've discovered I actually LIKE the taste of butter in it. Would I add that much? Oh hell no.

But what I'm proposing is cutting the recommended amount of oil and adding a quarter stick of butter.

These would make DELICIOUS moist not too oily or rich, buttery yummy cupcakes.

Yum Yum!

Try it with your favorite cupcake recipes and tell me what you think!






Such Is My Life Continued

11 July 2013

Rain. Sucks.

I mean don't get me wrong I'm all about free car washes...but there's also a fine line between a summer shower and an ark-requiring-armageddon down pour.


And THAT is the type of rain I witnessed today.

SO there I was at my house just about to leave for work watching the rain cascade through the sky whilst I mentally abuse myself for even considering making myself look presentable by doing my hair and makeup. Waste of effing time.

When there..before my eyes.. the sky opened up...the clouds spread apart and the rain began to slow. The birds were singing the sun was shining and I laughed maniacally all the way to my car at my invincibility to mother nature and all she feebly threw at me.

As I sat in my car and shut the door, I SWEAR the rain started up again. Like something out of a movie.

So high on my horse I rode to work in the pouring rain and the closer I got to work the more the rain slowed down and again I laughed to myself at how awesome I was.

Until that is...I parked my car.

And mother nature decided to metaphorically spit in my face for ever thinking I had outsmarted her.

Because it poured...and it poured...and it poured.

And I sat in my car insisting with each passing minute that there was a faint possibility that it would stop soon.

Until finally I needed to leave or I would be late to work.

And this wasn't just any rain either...it was that post apocalyptic rain I had been referring to earlier.

And guess who decided to be Comfortable Carol (you like that?) and not wear a bra today.

Yep. This guy right here.

So off I dodged to the door.

But it was a useless attempt for after a mere 10th of a second after I stepped out of the car I was absolutely and disgustingly drenched.

And you know how we women all like to think that we look something like this in the rain:


or this


Well lezbehonest we all look a lot more like this:


or this


So there I am soaking wet, looking like a hot ass mess when what happens?

I ALMOST slip and fall on my ass due to traction-less flip flops and copious amounts of water on the floor. THANK HEAVENS for my coworker behind me who so gallantly caught me before I ate shit and totally wiped out.

This is my life. I'm just here for your entertainment. Please enjoy.

Such is My Life

I picked a terrible day to not wear a bra... Just sayin.

I Don't Do Bugs

09 July 2013

I know I can speak for most women when I say how much bugs suck.

(Yes yes, I know it's ironic that I call my baby "bug"...but still)

I don't do bugs.

Anything with more than four legs freaks me the fuck out.

Around any insect I swear I go into a full blown panic attack mode and my body and brain stop functioning normally.

And everyone's all like "oh stop it, just kill the damn thing"
And I'm like "Um No, I'm not fucking moving, I swear it's looking at me and can smell my fear."

And then they say something completely ridiculous like "Just hit it with your shoe"
So I clearly respond by telling the person they're off their damn rocker if they think Im getting within a 3ft radius of that thing and then following up by smashing it with my favorite flip flops only to get nasty bug carcass all over my shoe, ya no thanks. All set.

I just...I don't do bugs.

Did I mention that my house IS COVERED IN BUGS?!?!

It's like something straight out of a fucking horror movie.

I USED to live in the boondocks, and even living in a remote area, surrounded by trees and things that make outrageously creepy noises at night, I still didn't even have close to the number of insect-y things as I do in this house.

So how have I survived all this time you ask?

Boyfriend. That's how.


This is every woman's agreement, it's in that invisible contract we sign when we enter a relationship. The same one that states that they control the remote, and we never talk about our periods...whatever. There's a clause somewhere in there that states the man has bug/spider duty.

Ahh yes, spiders. Which in my mind do NOT qualify as insects but more along the lines of 8 legged terrorists.

I don't do bugs...but I DEFINITELY don't do spiders. I'll take an army of pretty much any insect before I try and tackle a spider.


I mean obviously there are some that don't bother me nearly as much or even at all really like ants or ladybugs but there's nothing really scary or gross or evil looking about either of those.

SO it's summer now and boyfriend is on bug duty and I'm almost certain he's reconsidering and reevaluating our relationship as we speak. Last night I asked him at least three times to check the bed for bugs. Psycho I know, but lord knows if I found a bug on me in the middle of the night I would go absolutely bat shit and not sleep for the remainder of the night week...and then to make matters worse any little touch or hair or any semblance of foreign contact with my body would give me a friggin aneurysm.

Ugh this is just one thing I DO NOT LIKE about the summer months...

If I haven't mentioned it before...

I. DON'T. DO. BUGS.

Blegh.





A New Passion

08 July 2013




I'm so fucking obsessed with this baby, I can't even contain myself. Do you see those eyes? Ugh...be still my heart.

And what I'm loving almost as much right now? Photography.

It's been like my drug. I'm like one of those crazy-ass tourist losers running around with their giant camera around their neck.

Yep. That's me. Total full-blown loser.

So I've decided once I get a bit more equipment and props I'd really like to start doing it for others. Starting out super cheap if not free and work my way to doing it semi-pro (if you will).

However, this mama needs practice. So practice I will.

But I sincerely haven't found a love, or passion, or drive to pursue something like this my whole life, it's a wonderful feeling to have a hobby I love, let me tell you. Expensive...but wonderful nonetheless.




Fourth of July Shenanigans

06 July 2013

The Fourth was such a surreal day because the Fourth of July has more than one connotation for me. A year from that day was the the day I discovered I was having a baby.

I was terrified... I was nervous... I was completely overwhelmed.

I thought I was going puke. It was only because of the support of boyfriend and his sisters that I even managed to not lose my sanity completely. I remember saying over and over to myself "holy shit, this time next year I'll have a baby in my arms."

And now here I am a year later even more in love with my best friend and feeling so lucky that we have the most wonderful and beautiful baby girl.... And I wouldn't change a thing.

It was wonderful this Fourth of July with my little family and of course it wouldn't be me if I didn't have 3 billion pictures to document the day but here are a select few :)









Change is Inevitable

01 July 2013

My sister in law (or soon to be) was so flipping cute today.

First of all, this woman (who I love to absolute pieces mind you) has been my lifeline and my sanity throughout my entire relationship with boyfriend, pregnancy, and now motherhood. She's a fucking cornucopia of advice and expertise and I relish in any and every tip, comment, or minute factoid she has to give me, as...more often then not...it's gold, pure gold.

She will never hesitate to tell you whether you're being a complete psychopath (texting her at all hours with obscene pregnancy freak outs) or if you're just doing the normal/acceptable crazy mom bullshit. She tells you how it is (in the nicest way possible of course).

Well, you would swear my sister-in-law was bug's mom. She posts more pictures of her and has more pictures of her around the house than she does of her two boys (I'm not kidding...and I believe they refer to it as their shrine). She loves bug beyond what an aunty does.

And today she texted boyfriend and I with this GIANT ass list of things she had noticed from the last time she'd seen her (which was last week mind you). But the more I read the list, and smile and laugh to myself, I realize how so very right she is.

Every single day bug changes.

She talks like her life depends on it, like she has the cure to world hunger or some shit stored in that little tiny head of hers that she insists on sharing with the world. She just babbles away incoherently, listening to the sound of her own voice, and by what I gather she sincerely enjoys the sound.

She's a baby fart machine, both in the actual and fake forms. She's taken to blowing bubbles and drooling like a rabid dog and makes all these new faces and sounds. She's getting taller and growing more hair. She's just starting to laugh and try to sit up on her own. She can hold things now, even if only for a moment or so. But all of this...all of these things...they're new...they're changing and transforming and it's the most insane and beautiful thing I've ever witnessed in my life.

I just want to soak it all in and remember it all because it seems just as I get used to one little nuance another one arises. She is ever changing, ever growing.

And I love that we get to share these moments with such wonderful people like her aunty. An aunty who texts me to tell me she's noticed all these little, tiny but amazing things.

I guess this post is just to say how so right (again) bug's Aunty really is. Change is inevitable, and with babies it is happening CONSTANTLY so as a parent I think I need to learn and teach myself to take a step back from my rather ridiculously fast paced life and better soak in all these changes. I don't want to miss any new noise, or tiny hair on her head, or milestone, or anything. I don't wanna miss a thing.




Sorry I had to.

Because not only is change inevitable it happens FAST. So to end tonights post I'm going to keep all this in mind and spend the remainder of my night squeezing the bejesus out of my not so little peanut.

Lindsay's Bruschetta Pasta Salad

29 June 2013

The following recipe comes per my friend Lindsay and for the record it IS as delicious as it sounds.


I think the best part about this recipe is that it's simple. And not just simple in that it's easy to make but simple also due to the lack of ingredients. Color me crazy but recipes that I tend to lean toward generally have fewer ingredients.

And if you're wondering...yes I AM one of those nit-picky people. There are a lot of things I do not like for example: onions, olives, mushrooms, ANY seafood, MOST cooked veggies. If that makes me picky...then fine so be it. However, I've lived my whole life eating plenty of really delicious food that does not include any of the aforementioned foods. So recipes that have simple ingredients are what attract me most and THIS is one of them. Five ingredients, people...five.

Ingredients:

1 Box/lb of tri color rotini
1 1/4 cup of diced tomatoes
3/4 cup of shredded fat free mozzarella
2-4 finely chopped fresh basil leaves
Roughly 7oz of Balsamic Vinaigrette (to taste)

And that is IT. I'd like to make two notes.

1. You CAN used diced fresh mozzarella as well however Lindsay likes the continuity of the shredded. Plus lezbehonest it makes for a much easier and faster prep.
2. When Lindsay was texting me the recipe her phone autocorrected "tomatoes" to "panties". And for me that too is worth noting.


Prep:

Cook the rotini until tender (or al dente as I prefer it), throw in a bowl and mix with remaining ingredients.

It's THAT easy. And for the record, pretty damn healthy too.

If you try it, maybe for your fourth of July parties (hint, hint) be sure to let us know what you think!

Sick as a Dog.

27 June 2013

You know, I never really understood that phrase.... Sick as a dog. My dog has never been sick so to be quite honest, it's fucking stupid if you ask me...but I digress...

I AM sick. And as much as it totally blows, I can't really complain (well too much, because I'm the queen of bitching and complaining so a-bitching I will go) because I haven't been sick in the longest time.

Generally speaking, I get sick all the time, but for some reason the past year has been an ok year...ya know...general pregnancy-bitching aside. You know what else sucks about being sick? Everything tastes like F%#*ING NOTHING. The chicken picatta I had for dinner tasted exactly like the sandwich I had for lunch and the english muffin I had for breakfast. At that point...why the hell am I even bothering to eat.

I'm tired, I'm groggy, I'm stuffy, I'm cough-y, and now I'm grumpy. So I've been forced into a love affair...with Mr. Quil. I've been downing dayquil like it's my damn job.

So I'm forced to go to work in this state of lunacy....and I can only imagine my colleagues feeling a little something like this:



So unfortunately tonight my post will be short and sweet...as I will be taking a bottle of Nyquil to the face tonight and going to bed far too early.

I believe I still have more pictures to post from last weekend, but to be perfectly honest I'm not entirely sure and as of right now I don't care to look. So off to bed for bug, bumpy, and I. FYI...I give everyone a stupid ass nickname and for the record bumpy is my dog, Sadee but I will further explain later on so for now, I have a bed with my name on it. Good-flippin-night.

Rain Cloud

20 June 2013

So you know those days where it feels like there's a raincloud following you around?

THAT, my friends, was yesterday.

All those awesome things I was talking about happening...they all went down the shitter.

First let me start with the house.

We drove up and I knew INSTANTLY it wasn't for us. You know how they say you just get that feeling in your wedding dress that it's "the one" because of the way it makes you feel? I always assumed it was the same with houses.

Well not only did I not get this feeling from this house but it was just NOT right for us. There was WAY too much that needed to be done that the pictures did not properly display. I don't mind cosmetic work...in fact part of me would kind of like a house that needs a little just because I can put a little of myself into the house and put all those interior design classes to good use.

But this was NOT just cosmetic work...EVERYTHING needed work. EVERYTHING. Ceilings, floors, walls, stairs, you name it, it needed fixing or replacing...and well as I like to say...


So that was shitty situation number 1.

Number 2?

That purchase I was talking about. YA...allow me to share.

Mommy has been wanting this Michael Kors wallet for wayyyy too long.

But I sincerely couldn't justify $110 for a wallet. Not cool, Michael, not cool. I'm a mommy now so I'm ballin on a budget.

Well out of nowhere mommy decided to take a look on craigslist and what do you know there's my wallet...just sittin there starin me in the face. And the clouds opened up and angels began to sing and all was right with the world again.

This woman was selling the EXACT wallet I wanted...barely used...for 40 dollars. Go ahead, ask me how excited I was. SO faster than I'm comfortable with admitting I texted this woman telling her I was interested and asked if I could come the next day. She explains that she's busy that day but the following day would be just fine.

So I text her the following morning asking if it was still ok for me to come pick it up at the time we discussed and WHAT DID SHE SAY?!?!

"I already sold it, sry"

YOU ALREADY SOLD IT?! YOU ALREADY FUCKING SOLD IT?!! I TOLD YOU I WANTED IT, WE MADE PLANS...AND YOU FUCKING SOLD IT?!?!

EVIL...PURE UNADULTERATED EVIL...ANDDDD TO TOP IT OFF YOU COULDN'T EVEN SPELL OUT SORRY.

KARMA IS COMING YOUR WAY LADY...YOU CAN COUNT ON IT!

Let me just say she is lucky she didn't give me her address because my ass would have been standing at her front door shouting a bunch of my favorite four letter words in her general direction.

*sigh*

And that's not even all of the crap I went through yesterday. I need a pick me up like pronto.

Hump Day

19 June 2013

It's Hump Day, Baby!!!

It's been a loooooong two days let me tell you.

I have like zero time to myself.

And JUST enough time with bug and boyfriend, and girls wine night (the only two things I will MAKE time for)

But this week is turning out to be an extremely eventful one.

Boyfriend and I are looking at a house tonight! Yep that's right, you heard correctly. And I am OUT OF MY MIND excited. Like absolutely losing my shit excited because this momma needs to MOVE OUT. I'm just hoping it's the one (we will see, updates to come)

So we have the house viewing tonight, and I'm FINALLY almost done my DIY project (since it turned from easy DIY project to a please-dont-do-this-it's-far-too-time-consuming project).

I also have a purchase I'll be making tonight that I CANNOT wait to share with you, and I'm stoked out of my mind.

My New Blog should be ready any time now and I'm one step shy of peeing in anticipation.

And to top all this awesome-ness off, Bug, boyfriend, and I are spending the weekend in the Cape with my two best friends and their boyfriends. YEA BABY!!!

I'm all smiles. Photography opportunities out the wahoo. Family time, friends time, wine time, sunshine. Yep.

Right now... I am one happy mama.

"You Look Tired"

13 June 2013

This is the comment I got from our waitress at dinner tonight.

How do you even respond to that?

"Thanks..."?
"I know"?
"I get that a lot." ?
"Yep"

It's basically a blatant and outright insult and the nicest way to tell someone they look like shit and get away with it.

It's Thursday, it's rained practically every damn day, so the only thing that's missing from becoming a narcoleptic would be a radio following me around perpetually playing lullabies.

Sleepy is not a good look for me, my eyes get all dark and swollen like I just got a fist to the face, my face gets ghostly pale like I haven't seen the sun in my life...it's just all around bad.

I sleep great and really have no excuse to be tired...and yet...here I am lookin like ass and getting these comments.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

So needless to say I'm STOKED it's Friday tomorrow.


I can not WAIT to spend the weekend with my loves and my camera and just RELAX. Bring it on, Friday. Bring. It. On.

The Last Day

02 June 2013

My lazy ass has yet to blog today... But there is some good that will come from it. Actually, lots of it.

So first boyfriend, bug, and I spent a larrrrrge portion of our day at the zoo. It was pretty awesome. Admittedly though, it actually kind of sucked considering the last zoo boyfriend and I went to was the San Diego Zoo.... Which totally makes our little zoo look like a giant pile of shit... But that's ok.

Actually, now that I think about it... I do happen to have some pictures from that zoo trip that are half decent so ill have to post them sometime.

But giant pile of shit or not the zoo was great. Especially for not having been to one in so long. Boyfriend loves animals. When it comes to animals boyfriend is a borderline looneybin. Practically any animal you throw his way he could spew some random useless fact about it..I swear its like the part of his brain that should be used for storing typical man pastimes like a love of sports has been completely erased and replaced with an infinite list of useless animal facts.

Even though the only few legitimate animals at our zoo are the giraffes, elephants, and one really old really awesome giant-ass turtle it was still fun.

I have a cornucopia of pictures that ill be posting tomorrow so prepare accordingly.

We then spent some time with my future sister in laws who made me strawberry shortcake that I would rip off any one of my limbs to eat again. A-freakin-mazing.

And then to make a pretty freakin sweet day better just as boyfriend and I are about to journey home for bed boyfriend spots a wagon being thrown out. And not just any wagon.. Oh no... A radio flyer.

From what I understand, as I was not near it enough to be able to decipher for myself, it smelt like a mix of swamp and big foot's asshole...which is likely the reason it was curbside. But that's not something a little cleaning can't fix. So boyfriend and I are taking it upon ourselves to fix her up. Clean, Power wash, and repaint and have ourselves a little DIY project... Which I will be sure to post pictures of. It will be PERFECT for pictures once bug's a little older and hell, who doesn't want a radio flyer.

This mama unfortunately is off to bed, because tomorrow is my first day of work at my new job! :) finally. I'm excited and nervous but ready..so so ready for a new chapter in my life. Bring. It. On.

Playing Around

01 June 2013

We had SO much fun yesterday. First we went to boyfriend's best friends house. The guy has an indoor pool that would practically put the Taj Mahal to shame. We went swimming for a bit and then we ended the day with the drive in.

Bug was so good..she went in the pool with mommy for a little even though it was kinda chilly.

Only two more days until my new job starts and even though it's not the end of the world I will not be able to take a single day off while in training. The training portion of my new job is THREE MONTHS long. And as crazy and drawn out as that seems...I couldn't be happier.

I had ZERO training at my last job and consistently felt inadequate. I'm excited to be going into a position where I am actually going to know what I'm talking about to a customer, instead of talking out my ass.

I want to make the best of these last two days especially since boyfriend is home too.

The zoo sounded like a fantastic idea...until I found out today is supposed to be hotter than the surface of the fucking sun, so I'm thinking indoors is more my style today. Although I am in desperate need of some color, alabaster is NOT a good look for me.

Anywayyyy...still trying to come up with a game plan, but for now I'll leave you with a few of my shots from yesterday.









Here's to You, Nikon

31 May 2013

Today I've decided I'm going to spend some quality time with my camera.

I only have 3 days left before my new job starts and I really want to enjoy it as much as possible.

I have a new case/carrier for it coming in today. I had yet to buy one for it and one of the few annoyances of a dslr is it's clunky-ness. Thanking the ebay gods for the sweet ass deal I got on it too. I'll be sure to post a picture as soon as that bad larry gets delivered. On a 1-10 level of excitement scale, 1 being a Nova documentary and 10 being Disney World, I'm at like a Tom-Cruise-jumping-on-Oprah's-Couch excited.



I'll be posting more pictures and updates today for sure but I'll leave you with these in the meantime. I know, you're welcome.







Summer Sangria

28 May 2013

Now...let me preface this recipe by saying that the dessert I made yesterday I did WRONG. It was tasty...but wrong nonetheless and I will be waiting to post it until my mommy mush brain can READ THE DIRECTIONS CORRECTLY.

But I will not be leaving you reicpe-less because that would be cruel. So instead I will leave you with a kickass sangria recipe that I threw together yesterday with a couple of the girls.

Sangria is SO easy to make...and you can play with it a lot which is what I truly enjoy about making them. You can come across some really great ones just by putting things together that you like.

THIS sangria was easily one of my better ones.



So for this recipe you will need:

Bubbly Peach Wine (or any peach wine...we just happened to use a carbonated wine because that was what was on hand)
Malibu Sunshine (which is DELICIOUS...it's citrus infused malibu)
Orange Juice
Sprite
Strawberries

Now here's where I probably differ from most.

Generally speaking with a sangria I like to make them by the cup instead of a giant batch. Primarily because everyone is different and may like more of one thing over another, so I made these individually.

I first cut up one GIANT ASS strawberry in quarters and put 2 pieces in each glass.

I then filled my wine glass about 1/3 of the way full with the peach wine.

I added about 2 oz of OJ, a splash of sprite, and about 2 oz of the Malibu.

It was PHENOMENAL.

Super easy to make, not many ingredients, and very very summery. And summery is always good in my book.

Try it out and let me know what you think!

To Go

27 May 2013

Anything "To Go" you can count my ass in. That means it's ultraportable, light, but primarily EASIER (than something that's not 'to go').

An example of this genius at work?

I present to you:



Ok, here goes the crazy lady about to rant about peanut butter. See, I know what you're thinking but seriously listen! And maybe you'll understand...maybe..

This isn't some crazy marketing ploy to get you to buy more peanut butter in a smaller package. No, no.. this is genius, my friends.

I LOVE peanut butter. ESPECIALLY when I'm on a diet...pair it with apples, bananas, celery, pretzels...you name it. DELICIOUS. And it's like having a treat instead of fruit. But here's the thing about peanut butter (and all you pb fans can vouch) if that shit is not portioned out you can GUARANTEE you're eating more than the recommended serving size.

I'll be honest, I've eaten it straight out of the jar with a spoon (I can't be the only crazy who's done this). And this is where the genius of these to go packs comes in.

Pre-portioned packs! Duh. Somebody at Jif deserves a raise.

Now, do I recommend using these to have pre-portioned serving sizes to use for your toast? No. Because that's just stupid. That's what the jar is for. And to be honest, this pack, unless you happen to eat more than 2 pieces of toast in a single sitting, is probably more than you'd need.

These packs are PERFECT for dipping on the go. I used to bring celery and peanut butter to work for lunch...but before these to go packs, I'm gunna be honest, it was a total bitch trying to find ways to bring it. There are like no containers small enough...and then it's one more thing I need to wash.



One of these bad boys and you're on your way to peanut butter heaven without engorging yourself on the whole jar. Sweet. I'm telling you, try them once and you'll understand...you can thank me later.

Keep checking back today because I'll be making a memorial day dessert (with peanut butter) that will blow your socks off :)

Mama's New Toy

25 May 2013

I have been like the world's worst blogger. But I have sooo much time off that I've actually been utilizing it.

So remember that big surprise I was talking about before?

Well it has arrived and it is AWESOME.



This...THIS AMAZING, wonderful, where-have-you-been-all-my-life TV is MORE than I could have ever dreamed of.

Mommy is a TV freak.

It's scary even. Movies, tv shows, I'm just an addict.

I have close to 200 movies, and EVERY. SINGLE. SEASON. of Friends (among other seasons of course).

But this TV literally does everything just short of wiping your ass.

Just title of the TV alone takes like a solid minute.

*AHEM*

47" LG Cinema LED 3D Smart TV.

Wam Bam Thank You Ma'am.

This thing does it all...and compared to what used to be there it's like night and day. Like a King versus a peasant. And if you look really close and listen really carefully, you can see an aura glowing around it while tiny angels sing every time you turn it on.

I know...I'm ridiculous. But still.

And what makes this toy even better you ask? Well, as mentioned before I live in New England sooooo every 3 seconds the weather is changing....and that 80 degree weather we had last week?...GONE. It's been replaced with this damp, dreary, 45 degree stay-at-home-and-nap weather.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Except NOW bug and I have our new toy so we can watch all my our favorite shows while mother nature has her bi-polar fit.

Hooray!

So as we speak I have the fire going (Yep, a fire...in May) with my feet up on the couch, bug passed out beside me, hot chocolate in hand, and a whole season of The Hills (guilty pleasure...please,judge away) waiting to be watched.

Life. Is. Good.

Better Late Than Never

23 May 2013

Wow have I been SLACKING. But I have been one busy mama!

Daddy and I took bug to the New England Aquarium. It was pretty fun until I saw an octopus.

Oh, I haven't mentioned...I have an irrational fear of octopuses (octopi?...whatever the plural of octopus is). Like they terrify the living SHIT out of me.

God knows why...I really don't understand it myself...but I do know they are DISGUSTING...they're all gross and suction-y and flopping...and anything with 8 legs is NOT ok in my book. Well I had a little spaz fit when I had NO WARNING of the octopus in the next tank while walking through the aquarium.

Every single hair on my body stood up and I did a complete 180 and power walked away in the opposite direction like a total freakazoid.

But I mean, octopus and 35 dollar parking aside (fucking nuts right?) it was a GREAT day.

It was also my best friends birthday yesterday.

24. Yep...we're getting so old. But we went to this great bar nearby and low and behold...it's trivia night! And guess who won trivia night? Our asses did. 30 dollar gift card in hand we ended yesterday on a great note.

So here are some pictures to make up for my lack of blogging. Enjoy.