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Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts

I Don't Do Bugs

09 July 2013

I know I can speak for most women when I say how much bugs suck.

(Yes yes, I know it's ironic that I call my baby "bug"...but still)

I don't do bugs.

Anything with more than four legs freaks me the fuck out.

Around any insect I swear I go into a full blown panic attack mode and my body and brain stop functioning normally.

And everyone's all like "oh stop it, just kill the damn thing"
And I'm like "Um No, I'm not fucking moving, I swear it's looking at me and can smell my fear."

And then they say something completely ridiculous like "Just hit it with your shoe"
So I clearly respond by telling the person they're off their damn rocker if they think Im getting within a 3ft radius of that thing and then following up by smashing it with my favorite flip flops only to get nasty bug carcass all over my shoe, ya no thanks. All set.

I just...I don't do bugs.

Did I mention that my house IS COVERED IN BUGS?!?!

It's like something straight out of a fucking horror movie.

I USED to live in the boondocks, and even living in a remote area, surrounded by trees and things that make outrageously creepy noises at night, I still didn't even have close to the number of insect-y things as I do in this house.

So how have I survived all this time you ask?

Boyfriend. That's how.

This is every woman's agreement, it's in that invisible contract we sign when we enter a relationship. The same one that states that they control the remote, and we never talk about our periods...whatever. There's a clause somewhere in there that states the man has bug/spider duty.

Ahh yes, spiders. Which in my mind do NOT qualify as insects but more along the lines of 8 legged terrorists.

I don't do bugs...but I DEFINITELY don't do spiders. I'll take an army of pretty much any insect before I try and tackle a spider.

I mean obviously there are some that don't bother me nearly as much or even at all really like ants or ladybugs but there's nothing really scary or gross or evil looking about either of those.

SO it's summer now and boyfriend is on bug duty and I'm almost certain he's reconsidering and reevaluating our relationship as we speak. Last night I asked him at least three times to check the bed for bugs. Psycho I know, but lord knows if I found a bug on me in the middle of the night I would go absolutely bat shit and not sleep for the remainder of the night week...and then to make matters worse any little touch or hair or any semblance of foreign contact with my body would give me a friggin aneurysm.

Ugh this is just one thing I DO NOT LIKE about the summer months...

If I haven't mentioned it before...



Summer Sangria

28 May 2013

Now...let me preface this recipe by saying that the dessert I made yesterday I did WRONG. It was tasty...but wrong nonetheless and I will be waiting to post it until my mommy mush brain can READ THE DIRECTIONS CORRECTLY.

But I will not be leaving you reicpe-less because that would be cruel. So instead I will leave you with a kickass sangria recipe that I threw together yesterday with a couple of the girls.

Sangria is SO easy to make...and you can play with it a lot which is what I truly enjoy about making them. You can come across some really great ones just by putting things together that you like.

THIS sangria was easily one of my better ones.

So for this recipe you will need:

Bubbly Peach Wine (or any peach wine...we just happened to use a carbonated wine because that was what was on hand)
Malibu Sunshine (which is's citrus infused malibu)
Orange Juice

Now here's where I probably differ from most.

Generally speaking with a sangria I like to make them by the cup instead of a giant batch. Primarily because everyone is different and may like more of one thing over another, so I made these individually.

I first cut up one GIANT ASS strawberry in quarters and put 2 pieces in each glass.

I then filled my wine glass about 1/3 of the way full with the peach wine.

I added about 2 oz of OJ, a splash of sprite, and about 2 oz of the Malibu.


Super easy to make, not many ingredients, and very very summery. And summery is always good in my book.

Try it out and let me know what you think!