"You Look Tired"

This is the comment I got from our waitress at dinner tonight.

How do you even respond to that?

"Thanks..."?
"I know"?
"I get that a lot." ?
"Yep"

It's basically a blatant and outright insult and the nicest way to tell someone they look like shit and get away with it.

It's Thursday, it's rained practically every damn day, so the only thing that's missing from becoming a narcoleptic would be a radio following me around perpetually playing lullabies.

Sleepy is not a good look for me, my eyes get all dark and swollen like I just got a fist to the face, my face gets ghostly pale like I haven't seen the sun in my life...it's just all around bad.

I sleep great and really have no excuse to be tired...and yet...here I am lookin like ass and getting these comments.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

So needless to say I'm STOKED it's Friday tomorrow.

I can not WAIT to spend the weekend with my loves and my camera and just RELAX. Bring it on, Friday. Bring. It. On.

And Then God Said..Let There Be Ambien

I'm done. I'm fed up. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I look like crap. I'm barely functioning.



And THANK THE LORD for my co-worker.

This woman pushed and pushed and pushed and MADE me call my doctor today. Like practically shoved the phone in my hand and dialed the number for me...and you know what? I'm grateful for that...for her...because had she not done that I would've tried to continue on this path of self destruction.

Insomnia is TERRIBLE. And if it had a face...I would punch it in it.

Does that even make sense? Because let's face it...I've lost my damn mind.

And what's better is my stomach has been growling like I haven't eaten in a freakin week. And I am by no means starving myself. I'm eating high protein and fiber foods, and lots of em...and yet my stomach still sounds like an angry-ass grizzly bear. Cool. And I'm not talking like a grumble here and there. Nope. My stomach has been growling NONSTOP since I woke up...FOUR HOURS AGO. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Come to find out (because mommy googled it) STRESS can cause stomach growling.

REALLY NOW?

Huh...you know what stress also causes? INSOMNIA.

DINGDINGDING. We have a winner...a common denominator....NOW if only I can get some sleep.

My doctor ended up prescribing me Ambien. HALLE-FREAKIN-LUJAH.

And me...being the trainwreck I am right now, totally cried when she said she was going to get me something to help. I probably looked insane. But that's ok. Because tonight may be the night I actually get some shut eye. And maybe tomorrow...maybe..just maybe...I won't be this Zombie Mommy.

Here's hoping.