I mean don't get me wrong I'm all about free car washes...but there's also a fine line between a summer shower and an ark-requiring-armageddon down pour.
And THAT is the type of rain I witnessed today.
SO there I was at my house just about to leave for work watching the rain cascade through the sky whilst I mentally abuse myself for even considering making myself look presentable by doing my hair and makeup. Waste of effing time.
When there..before my eyes.. the sky opened up...the clouds spread apart and the rain began to slow. The birds were singing the sun was shining and I laughed maniacally all the way to my car at my invincibility to mother nature and all she feebly threw at me.
As I sat in my car and shut the door, I SWEAR the rain started up again. Like something out of a movie.
So high on my horse I rode to work in the pouring rain and the closer I got to work the more the rain slowed down and again I laughed to myself at how awesome I was.
Until that is...I parked my car.
And mother nature decided to metaphorically spit in my face for ever thinking I had outsmarted her.
Because it poured...and it poured...and it poured.
And I sat in my car insisting with each passing minute that there was a faint possibility that it would stop soon.
Until finally I needed to leave or I would be late to work.
And this wasn't just any rain either...it was that post apocalyptic rain I had been referring to earlier.
And guess who decided to be Comfortable Carol (you like that?) and not wear a bra today.
Yep. This guy right here.
So off I dodged to the door.
But it was a useless attempt for after a mere 10th of a second after I stepped out of the car I was absolutely and disgustingly drenched.
And you know how we women all like to think that we look something like this in the rain:
or this
Well lezbehonest we all look a lot more like this:
or this
So there I am soaking wet, looking like a hot ass mess when what happens?
I ALMOST slip and fall on my ass due to traction-less flip flops and copious amounts of water on the floor. THANK HEAVENS for my coworker behind me who so gallantly caught me before I ate shit and totally wiped out.
This is my life. I'm just here for your entertainment. Please enjoy.
