Stanky

So the other day bug and I were taking a stroll through Target...which by the way I need to stop doing. How does my trip to buy coffee turn into a 50 dollar purchase?...Damnit, I'm on to you, Target. It must be something in the air...which IRONICALLY is a perfect segue into today's post. Bug and I were going about our meaningless humdrum shopping spree...and it happened. It was like I was smashed in the face with a sack of fucking rocks. Old lady perfume.

And don't play coy you know EXACTLY what one I'm talking about. I'm CERTAIN there is only one scent that they all wear and it is god AWFUL.



Now, I suppose old lady perfume wouldn't be so horrid if they didn't bathe themselves in it, which leads me to believe that SCENT along with sight and hearing also deteriorates with age. I don't know what it is about old lady perfume but that shit LINGERS. I couldn't tell if it was following me or if it was stuck in my nostrils torturing the hell out of my nose.



On top of the fact that we all know there are two types of perfumes. There are those you are allowed to spray like twice before they start to make your eyes water from being so pungent and then there are those that you can spray 70-80 times and lose your scent by the time you walk 10 feet. You know you're wearing too much perfume if you can taste it...seriously, Grandma.. Ease off.

I literally picture them walking around like little pigpens...you know that little stanky kid from the peanuts who had like a hoard of dirt and smell drawn around him at all times?...ya know...this kid...



Except instead of dirt it's the old lady odor lurking waiting to suffocate its next victims. My message to you older ladies ...Fine, wear your perfume, just please, for the sake of everyone within a mile radius of you, LESS IS MORE....But none is better :)

Semi Silent Sunday

So...I've got a mini photo bomb for ya ladies and gents...but I just wanted to thank you guys for helping me hit !000 VIEWS! I'm beyond excited and here's to the next 1000!

$@!*&%?#

So the other day I almost spewed my coffee out of my mouth when my co-worker apologized to me for swearing in front of me. I am by no means proud of the fact that I swear like a damn truck driver, but I sincerely enjoy swearing. Lord, if I know why. Sometimes...it really just drives your point home. Sometimes "fuck" is really the only appropriate noun,verb,adjective for the job. Nothing releases agitation quicker than a cacophony of swears. But generally speaking if I'm in an environment where profanity is frowned upon then I'll do my sincere best to shut off my inner sailor...or wait till I'm out of earshot and then let the expletives fly.

So when my coworker apologized to me I couldn't help but laugh. Are you kidding me? This side you see of me everyday? That's the toned down version of me. In every aspect. ESPECIALLY at work.



Maybe one day swearing will be more socially acceptable...but for now...I'll just try and keep my big fucking trap shut.