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Sometimes Five Is A Lot.

26 May 2013

Five...in the grand scheme of things really isn't a big number.

But it can be a lot when put into perspective.

Allow me to explain:

Five gummy bears? Not enough...not nearly enough...and that's how many they put in a package. Who eats 5 fruit snacks? There needs to be at least 15 to be a reasonable amount...but I digress...

Five pairs of sandals? Fairly standard (unless you're a shoe whore... which I'm not)

Five houses? Well, screw you.

So you see...five...or any number really when put into perspective can be a lot or a little.

Are you wondering where this number hysteria is coming from?

You should probably ask my new next door neighbor. This woman apparently has a strong liking for the number five.

She also has a strong liking for cats...because she has 5 of them, 5 outdoor cats. 5 really annoying, always in the way, teasing, creepy stalker, outdoor cats.

And for each cat she also has an outdoor child. Yes, you've heard me correctly. That's 5 cats and 5 children.

Now don't get me wrong I love like tolerate cats. A few of my friends have had them, and I actually did enjoy their company. But would I ever own one? No.

Although I do love me some tardar sauce...aka grumpy cat. Her persistent grumpy face is the epitome of me if woken before 7 AM.



God I love her.

But it's one thing to own cats...it's something else entirely to own 5 of them...and outdoor one's at that.

Pardon my french, but what the fuck is the point of an outdoor cat?

You feed it...let it inside when there's a hurricane?...What is the point of a pet you never see, or cuddle, or love.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

And she has five of these pointless animals.

They run rampant in the neighborhood like squirrels driving my two dogs absolutely bat shit teasing them from outside.

I apologize for the rant but I needed to just let it out somewhere and here just seemed like the appropriate place. Ugh.

Five outdoor cats....I guess I'll just never quite understand.