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Alpha Bravo Charlie

26 July 2013

I can't think on the spot. Like ever.

Doesn't matter if it's morning, night, I've had my coffee, I've slept a solid 8 hours...I just can't think on my feet.

Well I take calls all day long.

And being on the phone for a living means eventually I need to spell something out...and well as we all know 90% of the letters sound alike "B" "C" "D" "E" "G" "P" "T" "V" "Z" ....ugh.

And we all know there is that Phonetic Alphabet "A as in Alpha" "B as in Bravo" or whatever...except...I don't know it.

I just make sh*t up as I go. "A as in Airplane" "D as in Dragon" my brain just can't think of words fast enough that start with the letter and then when I hesitate ..I get nervous...I stutter and I just frantically throw something out there and hope for the best.

And there are some I just get continually stuck "I"

So I'm all like "I as know..uhhh...icecream"

Great. Now I sound like an moron and a fat*ss. Cool

The past week I've been saying "U as in Unicorn" what?...

And today...well I'd like to blame my sheer ignorance on the fact that it's friday...but lezbehonest...this has been going on for weeks

I definitely said " in You"

Soon I'll be saying "P as is Pneumonia or Pterodactyl" "K as in Knife"

And don't even get me started on the english language. Whoever made that sh*t up should have been fired. I just..can't deal with how absolutely stupid it is.


Which, Witch

Weather, Whether

Too, To, Two

All words that sound the same but are spelt differently. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

But whats worse?

Read, Read

Lead, Lead

Tear, Tear

All words that are spelt exactly the same but pronounced differently. WHAT?!

Why!? Why is that possible?!

And silent letters?! Who was drunk at that meeting when we decided THAT was a good idea.

Don't worry about me...I'll just be over here...losing my mind at how idiotic this language is. Ugh.

Thank heavens it's the weekend.