Flashback Friday

So this morning I found myself in a state of reminiscence. I was sitting on the couch watching tv and it became abundantly clear, after seeing a few commercials, how different/ridiculous toys are today. Do you remember how AWESOME toys were back in the day?

Lets go back shall we?

Pogs.


Collectable cardboard discs with pictures on them. Yep. The guy that created those was an evil genius. But genius nonetheless. The worlds simplest game created using pieces of cardboard. Instantaneous worldwide hit!

Polly Pocket.



Ahhhh Polly Pocket. Polly's still around but that biotch is 10 times her original size. Polly was way more cool when she actually fit in your pocket and wasn't a fucking choking hazard

Easy bake oven.



The miniature oven that cooked tiny baked goods with a lightbulb. That's right, a light bulb...sounds legit. I was never privileged enough to have one of these as a child...not gunna lie, still kind of disappointed about that.

Tamagotchi.



Tiny little virtual pet keychains. God when you say it like that it sounds stupid. And that's probably because it was. BUT as a kid these were the greatest toys of all time, especially if you didn't get caught playing with them in class. Basically you needed to care after this little pet, make sure it was fed, played with, and cleaned up after (yes it shit virtually) etc and if you didn't it died. YAY!

Pretty Pretty Princess.



This game was the shit. I LOVED this game as a kid...except when I wasn't winning. This game not only made you hate your friends for their stupid gloating as they put on that damn tiara but made you feel like a fucking peasant. Oh cool, I have a ring and fake set of tacky pearls? I feel so pretty. Regardless, for some reason I still insisted on playing it anytime a friend had it and still miss it for whatever reason.


The one toy they do bring back? Furby. FURBY. The toy every kid wanted and then completely regretted owning after .2638 seconds because it would not stop bitching about being hungry! @$&@*!(!#

Great. So what do kids play with now you ask? iPads. Lord, grant me strength.

Check back every friday for a flashback until I run out of ideas or get too lazy. Comment and subscribe!

Just Another Quick Post

An itty bitty baby bug photobomb:









Couldn't help myself. More to come. Comment & subscribe!

Nose Goes

Nose Goes as defined by Urban Dictionary is "A quick observation game typically played to determine who will be the person to either go first or commit to an action all together. The last person not touching their nose is essentially "it"."

As a child "nose goes" determines all things of great importance, and in case you have never heard of it (which I have to imagine is impossible) it's ALWAYS used to determine something you don't want to do. ALWAYS. I mean really it only makes sense.

But regardless...Last night bug was laying on the couch between my boyfriend and I passed out...and then suddenly without warning she rips ass. Now this little girl doesn't fart like what I imagine a normal baby farts like. This baby farts like a full grown man after a fucking feast at Taco Bell...and it is IMPRESSIVE. Except this fart was accompanied by the most disgusting sounding poop noises (aren't you glad you decided to read this today). To which my boyfriend promptly looks at me and shouts "Nose Goes!".

Back in the day, on the playground, I was the queen of this. Simply because, the first person to THINK of using "nose goes" as a means of deciding essentially never has to do shit, it's everyone else that's blindsided. TECHNICALLY, nose goes should be played with 3 or more people because with two people you're essentially just telling them to go do whatever it is without them having a say in the matter, which is why this method of parenting is fucking GENIUS.

Now this opens up a wholllle new world of parenting. Ok...bring it. GAME ON. Bug's crying in the middle of the night cause she's hungry? "Nose Goes." Bug blew out a diaper up to her fucking hairline? "NOSE FUCKING GOES." ....I think I'm going to like this.