Maternity Shoot with Brittany and Bailey

Some shots from my most recent maternity shoot that I am absolutely OBSESSED with.

Countin' Calories.

So I will be starting my post baby diet this week. I'm very familiar with dieting unfortunately ... And the one thing that has always worked for me is calorie counting. The looks I used to get when people asked me how I was losing so much weight were downright hilarious it was like I was telling them I ate a strict diet of vodka and pancakes.



But really if you truly think about it... It's THE BEST diet to be on. All calorie counting really is is portion control. You want that giant piece of cake?... Well by all means but now you only have 100 calories left for your whole day so good luck with that one. I've done A LOT of research into it and for my height it's suggested I should be allotting myself 1200 calories for the day while on a diet... Or 400 calories a meal. I DO NOT count fruit or vegetables EVER. It's just my philosophy, and regardless the diet still works.

I'll give you 12 reasons why this diet is better than all the others:

1. You can eat anything you want within moderation. EVEN CARBS.
2. The better you eat...the MORE you can eat.
3. It's SO easy.
4. Even restaurants are beginning to put calories on their menus.
5. Some restaurants even offer reduced calorie menu options.
6. When coupled with exercise you can lose some serious weight...FAST.
7. It makes it super easy to learn how to maintain your weight. You don't have to "introduce" foods back into your diet and pray for the best... you just increase your calorie intake.
8. You CAN have desserts.
9. You start to get creative with cooking trying to find lower calorie recipes for your favorite foods.
10. The possibilities of food choices are ENDLESS.
11. There is no service you have to pay for.
12. No stupid meetings.


Doing this diet I had lost almost 50 lbs in 3 months... and YES I was exercising. And there is NO WAY I would have been able to lose that amount of weight in that time frame without. I was going to the gym around 4-6 times a week. But I was not one of those gym rats by any means. I did a little cardio, some weights, and was there somewhere between an hour and 2 hours every time. And just to give you an idea, this is what you can expect for calorie burning activities:



Are you reading what I'm reading? That shit says SITTING burns calories...ask me how excited I am about that.

I know they recommend 1-2 pounds a week but lets be real...that sucks. Sure, it's still weight...but we're people...we want to see RESULTS...Instant gratification. I was by no means starving myself, I ate often and A LOT...and I was busting ass a few times a week in the gym and for the first month I was losing 5-7lbs a week. Yep. Insane, I know. And then after the first month it turned into about 2-5 lbs a week. THOSE, my friends, are results.

So back to the gym my ass goes...lets see how it goes this time around...anddd of course I will be updating as I go.

Eating for One

The worst thing you can do while pregnant is give in to the mentality that "I'm pregnant... I'm eating for two" NO YOU'RE NOT EATING FOR TWO. I mean TECHNICALLY yes you're eating for two... But not a normal sized second person... Not two fully sized people. It's you and a person the size of your freakin forearm... And that little person will only require 3 to 500 extra calories per DAY ... Not PER MEAL depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy. And what's worse is other people will just keep trying to feed you! "Here, Kerin ..please eat these cookies" or "I bought you 16 bags of candy because I knew you were craving them". Yes I was craving them ... But it was just that.. A craving. It doesn't mean I need it... And that, my friends is EXCTLY how you gain twice the recommended amount of weight during a pregnancy.

So now I'm back to dieting just as I had before bug. I HAD been losing weight up until the pregnancy and now back I go to wonderful world of dieting and excerise. Hooray! I'll be posting recipes I suppose....maybe that will be just the motivation I need to stay on track...here's hoping.

What They Don't Tell You About L&D (2)

It's weird how I've become so accustomed writing here.. And not gunna lie I totally freaking love it. So to continue my last post...

About a week prior my due date I was feeling like I had been run over by a damn train so off to the hospital I went. My midwife followed the standard procedure of checking every possible issue, which as annoying as it was, was extremely reassuring. Finally the moment came, it was time to check my cervix (lovely). But when you're all kinds of pregnant the thought of finding out how dilated you are and potentially how close you are to having your baby, it's the greatest thought in the world. So of course she suits up and dives in to what feels like her damn shoulder(I apologize about the visual).... and then nothing. Finally after a few minutes and a few profanities and tears on my part later, she looks to me and says the one thing you NEVER want to hear at 39 weeks pregnant, "your cervix is too high". My cervix is too WHAT NOW? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T REACH IT?!? I thought I was gunna lose my damn mind. Due in a week and you can't even tell me if I'm dilated or not? So naturally I thought what any person would at that point.... I was destined to be pregnant forever. Some women find out at 36 weeks that they're a centimeter or two dilated and here I am with a cervix that is apparently located in my throat. Fan-freaking-tastic. So what now? Am I supposed to go home and do jumping jacks? Frustration was seriously overwhelming me at this point.

The moral of the story, my friends? A week later I was holding my little one. Patience may very well be a virtue but my god is it hard to be patient while pregnant, especially that close to go time. It's important to note also that you can sit on 3 cm for WEEKS without having your baby or go from not dilated to having your baby hours later. The only thing you can do at that point is try your best to maintain your sanity and be patiient.

Another extremely common misconception is the stereotypical idea of how our water breaks. Every movie we watch it shows a woman having her water break in the middle of the night or while she's out during the day. What many people don't know is that, in fact, is fairly uncommon. Oftentimes a water is broken by the doctor during labor. My water broke at the hospital literally AS I got into the bed. In typical Kerin fashion. Leave it to me to inconvenience anyone and everyone and it doesn't stop there so be prepared for my birth story to come shortly.

What They Don't Tell You About L&D

Ahhhhhh see now here is where it starts to get interesting... And I promise to not scare the ever living shit out of you with gory details.

Every woman, every labor and delivery, and every baby are different. Some women have these awful terrible war/birth stories while others who must have done something right in life have practically painless births. And while we all hope and pray to the delivery gods that that we will be one of the lucky ones, ANYTHING can happen. Some women are so dead set on having everything happen a certain way and while that's great and all you really should have only two things in mind. The health of your baby and you. And trust me, if you over think everything (as I always do) it will just make everything exponentially worse.

Which brings me to the birth plan. Anywhere and everywhere you look they tell you to have a birth plan. Basically it's a list of prego demands and can include anything from the ambiance of the room (lights, music, TV), to who you want at the birth, to the method of birth, to medications and interventions during and after birth. And while I normally never condone preparedness and lists (cause sweet Jesus I love me some lists) it can be a complete waste of time. If you walk into the hospital dead set on how you want to have that baby you are likely to be disappointed. And while it's not impossible to have everything go exactly as you have planned, you really have to consider all your options and KNOW that anything can happen. I am a prime example of this but I will share my birth story another time (be prepared for that one, folks). I will, however give you an example. I went from 0 to liftoff in what felt like the worlds shortest period of time. The nurses had basically put me on the backburner because I should not have progressed as quickly as I did especially as a first timer. Long story short, not only did I NOT have the midwife I was in love with because she wasn't on call at the hospital that day, but the midwife that WAS on (my least favorite of the 4 midwives at my office, go figure) wasn't even able to make it to me in time before I delivered. So essentially I had a doctor of whom I had met 30 seconds prior to her delivering my peanut. Like I mentioned. previously number one is the safety and health of your new little one and you... Everything else should really come second.

Let me take a second to give a shout out to contractions. Ya, that's right you evil bastards, I'm talking to you. Some women (apparently women who hit the freaking childbirth lottery) don't really feel contractions, it's rare but can happen. So it's good to know we are not completely destined to suffer through them. But if you're like 99.9999998% of us, prepare for the shitstorm that is contractions. Now I may be a bit biased as my contractions lasted 3 days (no that wasn't a typo , my early labor was 3 goddamn days long) but still. Nothing was comfortable, and it's impossible to sleep through them. So needless to say I was a very pregnant, very angry zombie lady by the third day. No bueno.

Epidural, oh how I love thee, let me count the ways. I was so beyond misinformed about epidurals so let me enlighten you, please. My pain tolerance is sub par at best ...so when I say I felt almost no pain receiving it, I truly mean it. It may be something to consider however that I had been in labor for 3 days prior to that and I was exhausted and in so much pain from the contractions that the epidural was a freakin breeze. I always had assumed that with an epidural you went all limp noodle from the waist down...also not true, my friends. It may depend on your hospital/ anesthesiologist but mine couldn't have been more perfect...I could just barely feel my contractions but still had FULL CONTROL of my legs. That's right, you heard correctly. And for me it was a lifesaver, it allowed me to relax for the first time in 3 damn days. If I wanted to I could have totally gotten up and taken a short stroll after delivering her, not that I'd want to, or that they'd even consider letting me, but I definitely would have been capable of it. And the best part you ask? I could still feel JUST enough so that when it was time to deliver I wasn't guessing whether or not I was pushing. One side effect I did have from it, which doesn't happen to everyone is itchiness. As annoying as it should have been the feeling of not contracting for me far outweighed the itch.

This post will definitely be continued as I hadn't realized I was blathering on as long as I was, please feel free to stop me if need be or you could just comment and subscribe ;)

What They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy (2)

To start this post I'd just like to say that I never in my life thought I would be so damn excited about getting a breast pump in the mail... But Halle-fucking-lujah! Today is the day... And I am way too excited. If any of you future mommies intend to breast feed this is the best invention since nursing camis... Trust me.

Anywayyyy... Part two of the "Everything they don't tell you about pregnancy" post.

If you were anything like me you will become a flippin bloodhound... Somehow you obtain this super human ability to smell EVERYTHING. I could smell a chocolate cake baking a mile away and then tell you allll the ingredients it is composed of. It was odd but secretly kinda awesome all at the same time.

You may retain water. It's incredibly common and extremely unsettling. My fingers went from slight and slim (the only part on my body I can really truly say this about) to straight up sausage fingers. And that shit happened practically overnight. Your face, hands, feet, ankles, even wrists (which I found out the hard way) can all swell. Not the most awful side effect...but annoying nonetheless.

You may also get Braxton hicks contractions... And those bad boys are NO fun. Not all women get them and they can also vary greatly in degree of severity but for the most part they are extremely tolerable (especially when compared to that of labor contractions). Frustrating as they may be they're your body's way of preparing for labor.

Fatigue, if you're anything like me will become your mortal enemy. It was hard enough to pick my sorry ass up to go to work each day. But to then have to go sit at my desk fighting the urge to fall asleep sitting up was just downright impossible (I'm sure the soft jazz/elevator music playing all day was no help either) but my god is it hard to stay awake. It's most common to experience fatigue in the first and third trimesters... But for me, that shit never went away.

I decided to save the best for last. The one thing that saved my sanity the entire pregnancy... Feeling your little one kick. I had read SO many descriptions for what it may feel like when they kick and to be honest only one was spot on. One person had said something about it feeling like butterflies.... Eh.. No not really. Not for me at least. And another said it felt like popcorn popping in your belly. Um what the fuck? No. The best description for my little bugs kicks was a small muscle spasm. Weird ,yes, but when you finally feel it it's so spot on. My bug was a mover. Like a gymnast on speed and always at the most inconvenient times. "Oh you're about to go to sleep? DANCE PARTY!" Fan-fucking-tastic.

I may add more to this but for now this mama needs to get her butt to bed.

What They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy

I found out I was pregnant on the Fourth of July. Ironic right? Independence Day... Haha real funny, universe. And to answer your question we (my boyfriend and I) were NOT planning on having a baby. But it seems as though this little girl (my bug, as I like to call her) came into our lives for a reason. The moment I found out was instant mortification. The phrase "holy shit you're gunna be a mom" ran through my mind 48262892 times that day. When it was finally confirmed that I was in fact prego, my life seemed to do a 360. But I will get to all that a little later. This post is dedicated to telling you ALLLLL the things that they DIDN'T tell me about pregnancy and try to separate myth from truth. So here we go.
First off, whoever said women get this "pregnancy glow" is full of shit. She is not glowing, she's sweating her ass off from carrying around 30+ extra lbs. And speaking of the standard "30 lb" weight gain... It's also a bunch of bullshit. Some women gain little to no weight while others (such as myself) gain the weight equivalent to carrying a toddler. We're all different.
You don't always have weird cravings in fact mine were never really weird at all, my cravings were basically the cravings I had pre-pregnancy but exacerbated. So my undying love of anything cheese just went through the roof and my desire to eat Taco Bell was borderline inhuman. But I never busted out at pickle and peanut butter sandwich or any of that crazy shit even once.
I have always taken pride in my unusually awesome bladder control. Weird, I know. But it was always extremely gratifying to know that I didn't have to stop what I was doing all the time to pee. I was good for maybe once every 3-4 hours or so. But with pregnancy that went right out the window. Not so much in the beginning but once that baby weighs more than a grapefruit you really start to lose it. AND to boot there's something you should also know about. And while I don't want to scare anyone out of having children, it's always a good idea to stay informed... There is something we pregos like to call snissing. Sounds pleasant right? Totally. It is pissing when you sneeze...and when it happens the first time it is deeply disheartening. So if it happens to you don't be discouraged because you surely aren't the only one.
You won't necessarily have morning sickness. I was very fortunate to never deal with this even once throughout my pregnancy. But also be aware that there are women who have all-the-time sickness... As in.. it doesn't stop in the morning ... Or after the first trimester.
To add a little something positive to this post... After being pregnant for what feels like a fucking decade you seriously learn to not take ANYTHING for granted. I missed so many of the little things like being able to sit down and stand up like a normal human being, or getting out of bed without looking and feeling like a beached whale, or even just sleeping on my belly. The moment you are able to do even the littlest things after being pregnant you will enjoy them that much more.
Ill definitely be sure to add more to this in another post, as there is no end to the wisdom I have to share with you but for now I must go off to bed in order to be up in an hour or so to feed the bug. Fantastic.