The Last Day

My lazy ass has yet to blog today... But there is some good that will come from it. Actually, lots of it.

So first boyfriend, bug, and I spent a larrrrrge portion of our day at the zoo. It was pretty awesome. Admittedly though, it actually kind of sucked considering the last zoo boyfriend and I went to was the San Diego Zoo.... Which totally makes our little zoo look like a giant pile of shit... But that's ok.

Actually, now that I think about it... I do happen to have some pictures from that zoo trip that are half decent so ill have to post them sometime.

But giant pile of shit or not the zoo was great. Especially for not having been to one in so long. Boyfriend loves animals. When it comes to animals boyfriend is a borderline looneybin. Practically any animal you throw his way he could spew some random useless fact about it..I swear its like the part of his brain that should be used for storing typical man pastimes like a love of sports has been completely erased and replaced with an infinite list of useless animal facts.

Even though the only few legitimate animals at our zoo are the giraffes, elephants, and one really old really awesome giant-ass turtle it was still fun.

I have a cornucopia of pictures that ill be posting tomorrow so prepare accordingly.

We then spent some time with my future sister in laws who made me strawberry shortcake that I would rip off any one of my limbs to eat again. A-freakin-mazing.

And then to make a pretty freakin sweet day better just as boyfriend and I are about to journey home for bed boyfriend spots a wagon being thrown out. And not just any wagon.. Oh no... A radio flyer.

From what I understand, as I was not near it enough to be able to decipher for myself, it smelt like a mix of swamp and big foot's asshole...which is likely the reason it was curbside. But that's not something a little cleaning can't fix. So boyfriend and I are taking it upon ourselves to fix her up. Clean, Power wash, and repaint and have ourselves a little DIY project... Which I will be sure to post pictures of. It will be PERFECT for pictures once bug's a little older and hell, who doesn't want a radio flyer.

This mama unfortunately is off to bed, because tomorrow is my first day of work at my new job! :) finally. I'm excited and nervous but ready..so so ready for a new chapter in my life. Bring. It. On.

Playing Around

We had SO much fun yesterday. First we went to boyfriend's best friends house. The guy has an indoor pool that would practically put the Taj Mahal to shame. We went swimming for a bit and then we ended the day with the drive in.

Bug was so good..she went in the pool with mommy for a little even though it was kinda chilly.

Only two more days until my new job starts and even though it's not the end of the world I will not be able to take a single day off while in training. The training portion of my new job is THREE MONTHS long. And as crazy and drawn out as that seems...I couldn't be happier.

I had ZERO training at my last job and consistently felt inadequate. I'm excited to be going into a position where I am actually going to know what I'm talking about to a customer, instead of talking out my ass.

I want to make the best of these last two days especially since boyfriend is home too.

The zoo sounded like a fantastic idea...until I found out today is supposed to be hotter than the surface of the fucking sun, so I'm thinking indoors is more my style today. Although I am in desperate need of some color, alabaster is NOT a good look for me.

Anywayyyy...still trying to come up with a game plan, but for now I'll leave you with a few of my shots from yesterday.

Here's to You, Nikon

Today I've decided I'm going to spend some quality time with my camera.

I only have 3 days left before my new job starts and I really want to enjoy it as much as possible.

I have a new case/carrier for it coming in today. I had yet to buy one for it and one of the few annoyances of a dslr is it's clunky-ness. Thanking the ebay gods for the sweet ass deal I got on it too. I'll be sure to post a picture as soon as that bad larry gets delivered. On a 1-10 level of excitement scale, 1 being a Nova documentary and 10 being Disney World, I'm at like a Tom-Cruise-jumping-on-Oprah's-Couch excited.



I'll be posting more pictures and updates today for sure but I'll leave you with these in the meantime. I know, you're welcome.

Philly Cheese Steak Salad

This recipe I kind of just came up with on the fly.

It's super simple but really delicious.



This salad is like half wedge salad half Philly Cheese Steak.

I used:

Iceberg Lettuce

Tomatoes

Green Pepper

Shredded Cheese

Shredded Steak

Bleu Cheese

I did not use onions as I do not like them...but they would probably work well also



I quickly cooked up the shaved steak and seasoned with this guy:





A little fun fact for ya about green peppers. Male green peppers have 3 bumps (like the pepper on left) they boast fewer seeds and are best used for cooking. Female green peppers have 4 bumps (pictured on the right) they are sweeter and best eaten raw. Thank you, Pinterest.



This salad was super easy and super yummy. Let me know if you try it, ladies and gents. Comment and subscribe!

And as an added bonus!



BUGFACE!

Now we're off to enjoy this beautiful day!

Wordless Wednesday

Summer Sangria

Now...let me preface this recipe by saying that the dessert I made yesterday I did WRONG. It was tasty...but wrong nonetheless and I will be waiting to post it until my mommy mush brain can READ THE DIRECTIONS CORRECTLY.

But I will not be leaving you reicpe-less because that would be cruel. So instead I will leave you with a kickass sangria recipe that I threw together yesterday with a couple of the girls.

Sangria is SO easy to make...and you can play with it a lot which is what I truly enjoy about making them. You can come across some really great ones just by putting things together that you like.

THIS sangria was easily one of my better ones.



So for this recipe you will need:

Bubbly Peach Wine (or any peach wine...we just happened to use a carbonated wine because that was what was on hand)
Malibu Sunshine (which is DELICIOUS...it's citrus infused malibu)
Orange Juice
Sprite
Strawberries

Now here's where I probably differ from most.

Generally speaking with a sangria I like to make them by the cup instead of a giant batch. Primarily because everyone is different and may like more of one thing over another, so I made these individually.

I first cut up one GIANT ASS strawberry in quarters and put 2 pieces in each glass.

I then filled my wine glass about 1/3 of the way full with the peach wine.

I added about 2 oz of OJ, a splash of sprite, and about 2 oz of the Malibu.

It was PHENOMENAL.

Super easy to make, not many ingredients, and very very summery. And summery is always good in my book.

Try it out and let me know what you think!

To Go

Anything "To Go" you can count my ass in. That means it's ultraportable, light, but primarily EASIER (than something that's not 'to go').

An example of this genius at work?

I present to you:



Ok, here goes the crazy lady about to rant about peanut butter. See, I know what you're thinking but seriously listen! And maybe you'll understand...maybe..

This isn't some crazy marketing ploy to get you to buy more peanut butter in a smaller package. No, no.. this is genius, my friends.

I LOVE peanut butter. ESPECIALLY when I'm on a diet...pair it with apples, bananas, celery, pretzels...you name it. DELICIOUS. And it's like having a treat instead of fruit. But here's the thing about peanut butter (and all you pb fans can vouch) if that shit is not portioned out you can GUARANTEE you're eating more than the recommended serving size.

I'll be honest, I've eaten it straight out of the jar with a spoon (I can't be the only crazy who's done this). And this is where the genius of these to go packs comes in.

Pre-portioned packs! Duh. Somebody at Jif deserves a raise.

Now, do I recommend using these to have pre-portioned serving sizes to use for your toast? No. Because that's just stupid. That's what the jar is for. And to be honest, this pack, unless you happen to eat more than 2 pieces of toast in a single sitting, is probably more than you'd need.

These packs are PERFECT for dipping on the go. I used to bring celery and peanut butter to work for lunch...but before these to go packs, I'm gunna be honest, it was a total bitch trying to find ways to bring it. There are like no containers small enough...and then it's one more thing I need to wash.



One of these bad boys and you're on your way to peanut butter heaven without engorging yourself on the whole jar. Sweet. I'm telling you, try them once and you'll understand...you can thank me later.

Keep checking back today because I'll be making a memorial day dessert (with peanut butter) that will blow your socks off :)

Sometimes Five Is A Lot.

Five...in the grand scheme of things really isn't a big number.

But it can be a lot when put into perspective.

Allow me to explain:

Five gummy bears? Not enough...not nearly enough...and that's how many they put in a package. Who eats 5 fruit snacks? There needs to be at least 15 to be a reasonable amount...but I digress...

Five pairs of sandals? Fairly standard (unless you're a shoe whore... which I'm not)

Five houses? Well, screw you.

So you see...five...or any number really when put into perspective can be a lot or a little.

Are you wondering where this number hysteria is coming from?

You should probably ask my new next door neighbor. This woman apparently has a strong liking for the number five.

She also has a strong liking for cats...because she has 5 of them, 5 outdoor cats. 5 really annoying, always in the way, teasing, creepy stalker, outdoor cats.

And for each cat she also has an outdoor child. Yes, you've heard me correctly. That's 5 cats and 5 children.

Now don't get me wrong I love like tolerate cats. A few of my friends have had them, and I actually did enjoy their company. But would I ever own one? No.

Although I do love me some tardar sauce...aka grumpy cat. Her persistent grumpy face is the epitome of me if woken before 7 AM.



God I love her.

But it's one thing to own cats...it's something else entirely to own 5 of them...and outdoor one's at that.

Pardon my french, but what the fuck is the point of an outdoor cat?

You feed it...let it inside when there's a hurricane?...What is the point of a pet you never see, or cuddle, or love.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

And she has five of these pointless animals.

They run rampant in the neighborhood like squirrels driving my two dogs absolutely bat shit teasing them from outside.

I apologize for the rant but I needed to just let it out somewhere and here just seemed like the appropriate place. Ugh.

Five outdoor cats....I guess I'll just never quite understand.

Mama's New Toy

I have been like the world's worst blogger. But I have sooo much time off that I've actually been utilizing it.

So remember that big surprise I was talking about before?

Well it has arrived and it is AWESOME.



This...THIS AMAZING, wonderful, where-have-you-been-all-my-life TV is MORE than I could have ever dreamed of.

Mommy is a TV freak.

It's scary even. Movies, tv shows, I'm just an addict.

I have close to 200 movies, and EVERY. SINGLE. SEASON. of Friends (among other seasons of course).

But this TV literally does everything just short of wiping your ass.

Just title of the TV alone takes like a solid minute.

*AHEM*

47" LG Cinema LED 3D Smart TV.

Wam Bam Thank You Ma'am.

This thing does it all...and compared to what used to be there it's like night and day. Like a King versus a peasant. And if you look really close and listen really carefully, you can see an aura glowing around it while tiny angels sing every time you turn it on.

I know...I'm ridiculous. But still.

And what makes this toy even better you ask? Well, as mentioned before I live in New England sooooo every 3 seconds the weather is changing....and that 80 degree weather we had last week?...GONE. It's been replaced with this damp, dreary, 45 degree stay-at-home-and-nap weather.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Except NOW bug and I have our new toy so we can watch all my our favorite shows while mother nature has her bi-polar fit.

Hooray!

So as we speak I have the fire going (Yep, a fire...in May) with my feet up on the couch, bug passed out beside me, hot chocolate in hand, and a whole season of The Hills (guilty pleasure...please,judge away) waiting to be watched.

Life. Is. Good.

Better Late Than Never

Wow have I been SLACKING. But I have been one busy mama!

Daddy and I took bug to the New England Aquarium. It was pretty fun until I saw an octopus.

Oh, I haven't mentioned...I have an irrational fear of octopuses (octopi?...whatever the plural of octopus is). Like they terrify the living SHIT out of me.

God knows why...I really don't understand it myself...but I do know they are DISGUSTING...they're all gross and suction-y and flopping...and anything with 8 legs is NOT ok in my book. Well I had a little spaz fit when I had NO WARNING of the octopus in the next tank while walking through the aquarium.

Every single hair on my body stood up and I did a complete 180 and power walked away in the opposite direction like a total freakazoid.

But I mean, octopus and 35 dollar parking aside (fucking nuts right?) it was a GREAT day.

It was also my best friends birthday yesterday.

24. Yep...we're getting so old. But we went to this great bar nearby and low and behold...it's trivia night! And guess who won trivia night? Our asses did. 30 dollar gift card in hand we ended yesterday on a great note.

So here are some pictures to make up for my lack of blogging. Enjoy.

Jeepers Creepers

Jeepers creepers where'd ya get those peepers, bug?

Well, it certainly wasn't from mommy, because I have green eyes...and daddy has brown.

Those beautiful baby blues are gorgeous and I'm curious to see whether or not they're going to stay blue or change color. I had BRIGHT blue eyes until around 15 months sooo now we wait...

But in the meantime...I will admire them :)





And the puppy enjoying the weather...because SURPRISE SURPRISE...the forecast was wrong and it is BEAUTIFUL.

HiHo HiHo It's Off to ...Wait a Second...

That's right, my ass is staying RIGHT HERE for two weeks!!! YAY! No work!

So on this rainy, disgusting, dreary day bug and I are cuddled on the couch watching Big Bang Theory.

Crappy-crap-crap iPhone photos but they pretty much say it all about my morning. My dog by the way (Sadee) is obsessed with bug. I think she's still trying to figure out what it is that she is...and I'm pretty sure she's convinced herself that bug is a puppy. Dogs are so weird... ESPECIALLY mine.

Oh, and a shout out to mother nature, thank you for the rain-filled 5 day forecast...good lookin' out.

Mommy and Daddy have only been DYING to go to the zoo...no big deal.

Oh well, perhaps the aquarium.

At least this morning I was greeted with a smile and an excited scream from bug this morning which resulted in my little black heart bursting with joy....and then all is right with the world again.

AND tomorrow we have a GIANTTTTT surprise coming...except I know what the surprise is...and you don't. So it's more of a surprise for you. Regardless...I digress. I am SOOOO excited. I have been waiting for this for a very long time.

This post will be short and sweet but there's more to come...THAT I can promise you.

Lord Grant Me the Strength

That is all.

And Then God Said..Let There Be Ambien

I'm done. I'm fed up. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I look like crap. I'm barely functioning.



And THANK THE LORD for my co-worker.

This woman pushed and pushed and pushed and MADE me call my doctor today. Like practically shoved the phone in my hand and dialed the number for me...and you know what? I'm grateful for that...for her...because had she not done that I would've tried to continue on this path of self destruction.

Insomnia is TERRIBLE. And if it had a face...I would punch it in it.

Does that even make sense? Because let's face it...I've lost my damn mind.

And what's better is my stomach has been growling like I haven't eaten in a freakin week. And I am by no means starving myself. I'm eating high protein and fiber foods, and lots of em...and yet my stomach still sounds like an angry-ass grizzly bear. Cool. And I'm not talking like a grumble here and there. Nope. My stomach has been growling NONSTOP since I woke up...FOUR HOURS AGO. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Come to find out (because mommy googled it) STRESS can cause stomach growling.

REALLY NOW?

Huh...you know what stress also causes? INSOMNIA.

DINGDINGDING. We have a winner...a common denominator....NOW if only I can get some sleep.

My doctor ended up prescribing me Ambien. HALLE-FREAKIN-LUJAH.

And me...being the trainwreck I am right now, totally cried when she said she was going to get me something to help. I probably looked insane. But that's ok. Because tonight may be the night I actually get some shut eye. And maybe tomorrow...maybe..just maybe...I won't be this Zombie Mommy.

Here's hoping.

Zombie Mommy

I haven't slept in like a week.

No but seriously..it's awful.

And everyone's all like "Oh the baby's keeping you up?"

NO. Actually...she's a perfect little angel and sleeps through the night so god knows WHY the hell I'm not sleeping. It's been close to 5 days since I've had some half decent sleep. And if you know me even a little you know that sleep is very important to my well-being.

HENCE the name "Confessions of a Serial Napper"...because...8 hours of blissful sleep is often not enough for me. I love me some naps too. Ugh. There's nothing like taking a mid day nap on a rainy Sunday.

I'm actually infamous for my naps. I don't take little cat naps...cat naps are for pussys. (See what I did there?)

I take NAPS. Like three hour POWER naps.

My friends would call me in the middle of the day for YEARS and when they didn't get an answer...they knew...

Naps are just so refreshing and invigorating and sometimes if you're grumpy or you feel like shit...a nap is just what the doctor ordered.

Well mama hasn't slept. And she is one tired and cranky mofo. And ain't nobody got time fo' naps.

So basically...I'm a walking zombie. I've been talking out my ass and stuttering and I just need some serious zzzz's.



Fingers crossed I can get some shut eye tonight...or things are going to start getting realllll ugly.

Holy Crap I'm a Mom

You know how some things in life take like FOREVER to realize? I keep having those moments ALL the time...over really big things and insignificant things.

Por ejemplo (ya like that? I still remember SOME spanish...it's cool..I only took it for SEVEN years):

Graduating high school was probably my first surreal experience. I could not believe I was a graduate...or how old I was getting...

And when boyfriend and I found out we were pregnant? I didn't somewhat believe it until our first ultrasound and then honestly it didn't really hit home until I was giving birth to her and then held her in my arms for the first time...And then for probably a MONTH after having her I would wake up every morning and be like "Shit...I'm a mom...when did that happen?" It is so surreal...and still is even seeing her adorable little face I just wanna smush like ALL the time...I still can't believe she's mine.

Well, yesterday, I received a phone call from a number I didn't recognize and when I listened to the voice mail some woman told me I had a package delivered to my house but because I wasn't there to receive it they gave it to my neighbor to hold on to until I got home...I didn't even know they could do that...

So for the next 2 hours I sat with ants in my damn pants waiting to go home and see what it was.

I get home and on the counter (boyfriend had retrieved said package) was a GINORMOUS fruit bouquet. Like HUGE. I looked at boyfriend and was like...did YOU do this? And he assures me for the 297452th time that it was not in fact from him so I read the card. My best friend, Lindsay (yes, you have heard that name before, she's the one from the sticky shovel incident) sent me this awesome-ness with a card that said "Happy first Mother's Day. Love, Linds".

INSTANT tears.

FIRST OF ALL.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE flowers. I do. You can see them ALL over my blog. HOWEVER...nothing says "I love you", "Thank you." "You're fucking awesome", "Get well soon" WHATEVER...like food does.

Seriously.

And not just any food. Chocolate covered food...my FAVORITE kind. And it's fruit...so I don't have to feel guilty about stuffing face and eating the entire basket.

And second... the point of this post...

This thoughtful, unexpected, totally fantastic (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!) gift reminded me that I'm a mother this Mother's Day. And while people have been saying it to me, I've kind of just been brushing it off. It wasn't really until I received her gift that I was like....Damn, that's right....I'm a mom this mother's day. Some things really just don't hit home until a significant moment. And THAT was my significant moment. I'm SO happy to be a mom. I'm so happy to have such a wonderful, beautiful baby. I'm so happy to have a loving boyfriend. AND I'm so happy to have friends who make all of these amazing moments in my life THAT much better. Happy mama, today :)