Why is Your Shovel Sticky?

There are no shitty stories that start with "this one time in college..." Screw band camp. All good stories start with binge drinking and college. So gather round and I'll tell you the tale of the sticky shovel.

So this one time in college my two best friends and I were preparing for a typical night out. We started at their sorority with what I have to imagine was the world's cheapest vodka and pre-gamed our little hearts out until it was time to leave.

After some time had passed we decided it would be a good time to go, and off we went to the car. Now if you remember from posts past I live in New England. And no good story is also complete without a good New England snowstorm. We had had a decent amount of snow on the ground which meant that it needed to be moved somehow because behind the tires of a little ford focus was a giganta-huge pile of snow. Andddd not only that the car itself was covered in the fluffy white stuff.

Luckily for us we happened to have a couple of shovels in the trunk. So we each took our instrument of choice to help unbury this little car. In order to maintain my balance in the snow I held onto the car quickly, just to get my footing. Well this happened to be at the exact same time my friend decided to close the trunk. And yes, in case you were wondering, the trunk did close right on finger.

Thankfully, due partially to the fact that I had consumed a fairly decent quantity of alcohol and also in part to the angle at which my finger was wedged in there I really didn't feel much of anything but pressure. And I'm not saying that to sound like some big asshole tough guy.. My friends can attest to the fact that I wasn't swearing or screaming or anything of the sort. But I looked up and said "oh my god.. My fingers shut in the trunk". Lindsay (my friend that slammed the trunk on finger) FREAKS out shouting "oh my god, oh my god! I'm so sorry! Oh my god! What do I do?! Oh my god!" In a straight up panic and here I am with my finger in the trunk, cool as a cucumber, while the poor girl thinks she's dismembered me. I look at her ... Tell her to relax and just open the trunk.

After a few more "oh my gods" and "I'm sorrys" the trunk was open. I looked at my middle finger... Examined it closely and... Nothing... Honestly.. It started to sting a bit but it looked completely fine.

Surprised, I just continued to shovel while Lindsay continued to apologize. A couple minutes go by and I noticed the shovel started to feel sticky, I disregarded it at first, assuming my hands must have been sweating but after another minute the stickiness didn't seem to feel like what I'd imagine stickiness from sweat would be like so I looked up and said "why is your shovel sticky?". Being that there was no light in the parking lot I couldn't see what was on the shovel until I managed to bring it into the little light that was available and discovered the stickiness was in fact, my blood. And not just a little blood...like a-scene-from-jaws amount of blood.

My hand, the shovel, and the ground was COVERED in my blood...it had even started pooling at my feet. And yet still... Zero pain.

So the girls insisted I go inside and let one of the girls who was a nursing major take a look at it. A large amount of paper towels, a bathroom sink, and a bandaid later we were off and running.

We finally get to the party, which was a rugby party and we were schmoozing and finally enjoying ourselves. A little later on we decided to take part in a stupid college game called zoomy. If you don't know the game or how it works its fairly irrelevant all you need to know us it involves banging your fists on a table.

The giant rugby guy next to me stops me mid game grabs my arms and proceeds to tell me i'm bleeding everywhere....yep. He was right ....I had bled through the bandaid and it was still dripping out of me...I ended up spending the majority of the night in the bathroom running water in the cut and making a feeble attempt to clot the blood with the giant rugby guy as my medic.

These things...these heinous, outrageous, stupid ass things...I swear they only happen to me.

Photo Dump

Photo dump from over the weekend...


The dogs leave their toys everywhere.

Spring is on it's way! FINALLY. Bring on the warm weather, baby!

Yummmm..home made steak and cheese.

Puppy-face

Eating for One

The worst thing you can do while pregnant is give in to the mentality that "I'm pregnant... I'm eating for two" NO YOU'RE NOT EATING FOR TWO. I mean TECHNICALLY yes you're eating for two... But not a normal sized second person... Not two fully sized people. It's you and a person the size of your freakin forearm... And that little person will only require 3 to 500 extra calories per DAY ... Not PER MEAL depending on how far along you are in your pregnancy. And what's worse is other people will just keep trying to feed you! "Here, Kerin ..please eat these cookies" or "I bought you 16 bags of candy because I knew you were craving them". Yes I was craving them ... But it was just that.. A craving. It doesn't mean I need it... And that, my friends is EXCTLY how you gain twice the recommended amount of weight during a pregnancy.

So now I'm back to dieting just as I had before bug. I HAD been losing weight up until the pregnancy and now back I go to wonderful world of dieting and excerise. Hooray! I'll be posting recipes I suppose....maybe that will be just the motivation I need to stay on track...here's hoping.

I Want It All

I'm sure you're familiar with the saying “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” Gee, thanks Confucius...But if I did that I'd be 4 trillion dollars in debt. And the more I truly think about what would make me happy the more confused I become. I love interior design and all things decorating. I have a knack for it... I always have. It's actually what I went to school for however, being in the field now makes me honestly consider if it would be enough.

I also love and sincerely miss working with children. I thought that would go away after having bug...but it hasn't. I worked as a babysitter starting at the very very early age of 12 and continued to do so in my spare time up until a year ago. I worked as a camp counselor for four years and also as a teaching assistant in an early learning center. EVERY SINGLE one of these jobs I have loved. There is nothing more fulfilling to me then working with children and watching them learn and grow into these little people. And yes, granted I had my few kids I wanted to throw out the window on occasion, but at the end of the day, those kids still had my heart. I'm pretty certain my love of working with children stems from being an only child. As a kid I begged and begged for my parents to give me a brother or sister and it just wasn't meant to be. All my friends would tell me how lucky I am and how great it is to not have anyone picking on you or having to share anything but people who have siblings really don't understand how lonely it is. The grass is always greener on the other side right? Well, these kids became that for me.

I'll never forget my final week working at the school a parent came up to me and gave me a hug and said "Can I tell you something?...I love that not once have I ever heard you call them "my students" you ALWAYS refer to them as "my kids"" And that's what they were to me. As much as I was there to help them learn, they were also MY kids. One little girl, let's call her E...her, her mother, and father were like the world's most PERFECT family. Like, super sweet and loving, and always smiling, just perfect. Well, E was SUPER quiet, especially when I had first met her, but what a sweetheart she was. She was sort of picked on by the other girls for being so quiet so I would take them all aside and try and work my magic. Soon enough E started opening up and she would come to me with issues with other children or if she just needed a lap to sit on.

One day I needed to leave early for an appointment of sorts and just made a quick announcement during lunch to the class that I would be leaving for the rest of the day and E instantly bowed her head and started to cry. I felt AWFUL. My heart shattered. I assumed she would just get over it and forget I was even gone, as I'm sure the rest of the class did. So I gave her a hug told her I'd be back the next day, and left. But the next day, her mom came up to me and said that E had mentioned I left yesterday and was sad THE REST OF THE NIGHT. Little did I know how much of an impact I had on this little girl, her mom looked at me smiled and said "She talks about you all the time, she really loves you" squeezed my arm and left. I was blown away. Shortly after this I had decided that I was going to leave the school and knew I needed to break it to the class. The LAST thing I had wanted was to leave these kids. It took me a week...A WEEK to muster up the courage to tell them. And when I did E was a wreck. She cried even during naptime...so I sat beside her cot and held her hand until she fell asleep. My final day at work when her mom came to pick her up HER MOM was crying. This sweet woman, I couldn't even believe it. She told me I was the first person that E had really let in...she's always extremely quiet but she wasn't when she was with me. I had no idea I meant that much to them. And she gave me the most heartfelt card. I miss them, so so much.

I also would love to pursue photography. But it's one of the few jobs that requires an investment. And photography equipment and software is NOT FUCKING CHEAP. Lenses for a camera can cost 2..even 3 times as much as the actual camera EACH. And Photoshop is like 400+. Oy. I just don't have that kinda money.

I also love to be a stay at home mom and spend all hours of the day with bug, playing and cuddling.

I just want it all. And the only solution to that is winning the lottery apparently. That way I could pursue all outlets and never worry about how much I was making or how much things were costing.

Maybe one day I'll figure it out but for now I'll be stuck in this job-limbo. Awesome.

Sunday Funday in Pictures.

Bug in a bear suit


Sleepy Bug


Sad Bug


The puppy having an emo moment








The letters I painted for Bug's nursery


Frozen Fruit in Sangria is not only genius but DELICIOUS.

Screw You, Bluetooth

You know what really grinds my gears? BLUETOOTH. OH MY FUCKING LANTA. Bluetooth should have one purpose and one purpose only...DRIVING. Any other time you are on bluetooth (unless you are legitimately using both hands or need to for safety reasons)you are an asshole. First off, you look like you're off your damn rocker talking to yourself...Secondly, because of your proximity to me, now I'm not sure if you're talking to me or to yourself and I don't wanna be rude if you ARE talking to me...so now I'm eavesdropping to debate if you are, in fact, talking to me. And when I still can't tell so I politely say "I'm sorry?"... now you look at me like I'M fucking nuts...and now I in fact look like the asshole. UGH. I'm just trying to not be rude to you and ignore you if you ARE talking to me...but excuse ME. This conundrum would all be solved if your lazy ass would use a cellphone like a normal flippin person.

I just experienced this at work with an individual who was just walking around laughing to himself...or so it appeared. Now I'm sitting here shitting my pants thinking this guy is bananas like those homeless people that talk to themselves....until I realized this guy had a bluetooth on. WTF. I hate you bluetooth. No...hate does not accurately describe my dislike....despise...detest...LOATHE ENTIRELY.

Remember that vacation I was just bitching about needing? Yep....definitely still need it.

Manic Monday

Time seriously has been flying lately. ESPECIALLY the weekends... I swear I'd be a more apt, happy, and far less unruly individual if weekends were 3 days. Let's just make Monday a weekend day so it can stop having a bad rap.....OR I guess I'd be satisfied if we were allowed mid day naps.



I...I HAVE time for that. Plenty.

SO Mondays truly just suck now. I'm tired, I miss my bug after a whole weekend of cuddling, I'm cranky...and then I get to work and this is what happens.



So now not only am I a total bitchfest, I'm unproductive.

But you know the one thing that would make all this BS go away...permanent 3 day weekends aside? A VACATION.

To say I'm a traveler would be putting it lightly...seriously. I've been to Spain, Aruba, the Bahamas, Punta Cana, Quebec, Florida, California, Myrtle Beach...And many of these places I've been numerous times. I can't get enough. I love warm weather. I love beaches. I love DISNEY. And that, my friends, is where I plan to vacation next. My last vacation was to California to visit one of my best friends but we did spend a day there, but one day in Disney? Never enough. Even Disneyland requires AT LEAST 2 days. So this momma is saving her money starting now. Bug NEEDS a trip to Florida, and it's been far too long since I've been.


Photo courtesy of the Walt Disney World facebook page that never ceases to remind me how badly I need a freaking trip back.

I CAN NOT WAIT for my bug to meet the first person who has and will always have a piece of my heart...



XXS68W94MT7Y

Flashback Friday

TGIF baby! Seriously. Ugh what a week! I can't wait for this long ass week to just be OVER. I need me some cuddlin time with my bug, seeing her for only a few hours a night really isn't cutting it. So I figured I'd touch back on my flashback friday topic from last week and sweet baby jesus am I reminiscing.

Inflatable Furniture



Remember this shit?! I had like a whole damn living room set in my room, like a boss...complete with couch, seat, and ottoman. Mine was in purple (obviously)....looking back I totally miss it...but let me tell you, that shit has come a LONG way and yes...it's STILL around.



Seriously?!! Where was this when we were kids? This is LEGITIMATE inflatable furniture. Awesome possum.


View Master



Some evil genius somewhere was making bank off of dumbasses willing to pay money to look at like a half dozen pictures through retarded binoculars. And yet regardless, I still loved this little freakin thing to no end.

Lisa Frank



Lisa fucking Frank...that bitch had the best rainbow school shit EVER. I had EVERYTHING Lisa Frank as a kid. Pencils, trapperkeepers (yea buddy...you remember those bad boys dontcha), notebooks, you name it..I had it. LOVED HER. Nuff said.

Pick up Sticks



Another evil genius of the 90s. This is how that board meeting went "Hey, I have an idea....lets take 30 multicolored shish kabob skewers throw em in a box and market that shit as a game" What was the object of the game? Pick up the most sticks (duh). Ah, how the simplest shit could entertain us for hours on end.

Well today's been fifty shades of nuts so I may or may not be adding to this later on. But make sure you comment and subscribe!

C'est La Vie

Recently I bought me a new car. This was a life altering event. It was my first "big girl" purchase, and to say it's been my best purchase to date would be an understatement.



I mean. Just look at her (her name is Violet by the way...you can't see it in the picture very well but she's actually purple. IN LOVE...and yes, I'm one of those crazies that names their car). HOWEVER today my "best purchase ever" is kicking me in the ass. Today, my car hates me. And nothing terrifies the ever living shit out of me more than a malfunctioning vehicle. I have been in my fair share of predicaments with vehicles, and now having bug, I'm the worlds largest worry wart. My old car (the car I was given in high school) was previously owned by Satan. That car had it out for me and in the span of two years I had been stranded AT LEAST a half dozen times. That asshole on the side of the road, bawling their eyes out, throwing shit around like a nutbag and having a spastic fit in their car? Ya ...that's me. It happens after the third or fourth time your reject-mobile breaks down in a ridiculously short period of time. Needless to say, that made purchasing a new (to me) car all the more comforting.

While on the topic, I've also been stranded in OTHER peoples cars, because... well... that's just my shitty ass luck. The boyfriend and I a year and a half or so ago got in a huge fight and broke up. So in typical best friend fashion my two best friends took it upon themselves to take me on a road trip to get it off my mind. And yes, it is just how you are picturing it. So off we travel in a VW bug (I wish I could make this shit up)off to new york city, which for us was about a 3-3 1/2 hour drive. Well my friends bug (the car...not my baby) is about as reliable as the titanic. In other words, about halfway there, we break down. SOO now not only am I grieving from the breakup, now we're stranded in the middle-of-fucking-nowhere Connecticut, in the parking lot of a drug store. So what is the only solution? We drink. And oh my lanta did we ever. We basically played hot potato with a bottle of vodka and finished an entire bottle (straight, mind you) in roughly 5 minutes. It was as disgusting as it was ridiculous. We had to get towed from Connecticut to Rhode Island and they slapped us with a GIANT ASS tab. Awesome.

So long story short, I'm accustomed to this shit-fest. Now my new car this morning? Ugh. Thankfully boyfriend is more than handy in the car department and hopefully I wont need to hand over an arm and a leg to pay for the damn thing. Oh well....C'est la vie, right?

Mush Brain

Ahhhh...post pregnancy mush brain, this shit is scientific fact...seriously. It's AWFUL. Nevermind the fact that I have the attention span and memory of a box of fucking rocks to begin with, now lets add a baby shall we?

I don't think I have finished one thought, sentence, idea, project, whatever from start to finish. There's no going from A to B in one shot. I'm at fucking Q before I see an end in sight.

So now not only do I have a 6 week old and a boyfriend who sometimes acts like a toddler (sorry, babe)(this will be the ultimate test as to whether or not he reads my blog to begin with) but NOW I'm back to work and we are busier than EVER. Holy brain mush, Batman.

And what's better? I work with customers all day and they are forced to see me in this state of absolute lunacy.

Example? You know when you walk in a room and you say to yourself "Shit, why am I in here again?"...To the average person, that probably happens MAYBE once a day....me? Once every hour or two. Seriously. It's so bad I have to hope I have something in my hand to give me some semblance of a clue like I'm Sherlock fucking Holmes trying to solve his own damn mystery.

Post it notes have become my best friend. Because I can't hold onto something in my mind longer than .27 seconds. People are beginning to think I'm crazy or slow or something. I have no less than 6 post it notes on my desk at any one given time strewn with spastic notes.

So I've finally come to the conclusion that my elevator no longer goes to the top floor..I'm one sandwich short of a picnic..off my rocker...and you know what? I may be going absolutely fucking bananas but the fact that I get to come home to this face at the end of the day makes it totally worth it.

No Words Wednesday

Ms. New Booty.

So if you've been reading religiously (which you better be), you'll know I have a problem when it comes to singing on the spot. I don't know what is wrong with my brain, but the second my brain needs to think of a lullaby or even a soft song to sing to my bug when she's upset, the only song I can come up with is..... Ms. New Booty...

what the actual fuck?
What kind of mother am I? And this happens every time...EVERY SINGLE TIME. Apparently, my brain is stuck only remembering sub par music circa 2006. And I mean, don't get me wrong it's not a bad song....but uhhhhh why?
So let me paint you a picture... there I am rocking my little girl attempting to silence the crying and there's mommy "I found you ms. new booty...get it together and bring it back to me." Followed by an internal dialog "what the fuck is wrong with you, you can't sing that shit to your baby...ok I'll try again" "booty, booty, booty, booty rockin everywhere....DAMNIT"...this happens daily...like on the reg. And I can't stop it. So between, "Soft kitty" and "Ms. New Booty"...nominee for mother of the year award is this guy right here.
Where the hell is twinkle twinkle little star or you are my sunshine or the classic rockabye baby when I need them? Oh well...if you can't beat em... join em.

Milestone Shmilestone

From the minute my bug was born she was amazing the crap out of everyone, no seriously, i'm not just saying it. This little girl is ridiculous. Even immediately right after birth she was extremely alert and ready to make an impression. The second day after she was born she was able to hold her head up, granted not for very long, but unbelievable nonetheless. Her legs are so freaking strong, she can stand on them for a few seconds at a time or use them to kick the ever living shit out of whoever is changing her diaper. At 6 weeks now she's still blowing my mind.
I'm not ready to leave her and go back to work. I'm terrified of missing all these milestones that she seems to be blowing past so quickly. So I've been making an attempt to document every second I'm with her just to make sure I feel like I'm not missing much. Thankfully, she'll be watched by my future mother and sister in law, who are almost as obsessed with this bug as we are, taking just as many pictures and videos. I'll be sure to post more later on today but for now, I leave you with this face.

Flashback Friday

So this morning I found myself in a state of reminiscence. I was sitting on the couch watching tv and it became abundantly clear, after seeing a few commercials, how different/ridiculous toys are today. Do you remember how AWESOME toys were back in the day?

Lets go back shall we?

Pogs.


Collectable cardboard discs with pictures on them. Yep. The guy that created those was an evil genius. But genius nonetheless. The worlds simplest game created using pieces of cardboard. Instantaneous worldwide hit!

Polly Pocket.



Ahhhh Polly Pocket. Polly's still around but that biotch is 10 times her original size. Polly was way more cool when she actually fit in your pocket and wasn't a fucking choking hazard

Easy bake oven.



The miniature oven that cooked tiny baked goods with a lightbulb. That's right, a light bulb...sounds legit. I was never privileged enough to have one of these as a child...not gunna lie, still kind of disappointed about that.

Tamagotchi.



Tiny little virtual pet keychains. God when you say it like that it sounds stupid. And that's probably because it was. BUT as a kid these were the greatest toys of all time, especially if you didn't get caught playing with them in class. Basically you needed to care after this little pet, make sure it was fed, played with, and cleaned up after (yes it shit virtually) etc and if you didn't it died. YAY!

Pretty Pretty Princess.



This game was the shit. I LOVED this game as a kid...except when I wasn't winning. This game not only made you hate your friends for their stupid gloating as they put on that damn tiara but made you feel like a fucking peasant. Oh cool, I have a ring and fake set of tacky pearls? I feel so pretty. Regardless, for some reason I still insisted on playing it anytime a friend had it and still miss it for whatever reason.


The one toy they do bring back? Furby. FURBY. The toy every kid wanted and then completely regretted owning after .2638 seconds because it would not stop bitching about being hungry! @$&@*!(!#

Great. So what do kids play with now you ask? iPads. Lord, grant me strength.

Check back every friday for a flashback until I run out of ideas or get too lazy. Comment and subscribe!

Just Another Quick Post

An itty bitty baby bug photobomb:









Couldn't help myself. More to come. Comment & subscribe!

Nose Goes

Nose Goes as defined by Urban Dictionary is "A quick observation game typically played to determine who will be the person to either go first or commit to an action all together. The last person not touching their nose is essentially "it"."

As a child "nose goes" determines all things of great importance, and in case you have never heard of it (which I have to imagine is impossible) it's ALWAYS used to determine something you don't want to do. ALWAYS. I mean really it only makes sense.

But regardless...Last night bug was laying on the couch between my boyfriend and I passed out...and then suddenly without warning she rips ass. Now this little girl doesn't fart like what I imagine a normal baby farts like. This baby farts like a full grown man after a fucking feast at Taco Bell...and it is IMPRESSIVE. Except this fart was accompanied by the most disgusting sounding poop noises (aren't you glad you decided to read this today). To which my boyfriend promptly looks at me and shouts "Nose Goes!".

Back in the day, on the playground, I was the queen of this. Simply because, the first person to THINK of using "nose goes" as a means of deciding essentially never has to do shit, it's everyone else that's blindsided. TECHNICALLY, nose goes should be played with 3 or more people because with two people you're essentially just telling them to go do whatever it is without them having a say in the matter, which is why this method of parenting is fucking GENIUS.

Now this opens up a wholllle new world of parenting. Ok...bring it. GAME ON. Bug's crying in the middle of the night cause she's hungry? "Nose Goes." Bug blew out a diaper up to her fucking hairline? "NOSE FUCKING GOES." ....I think I'm going to like this.

Oh,The Weather Outside Is Fan-Freakin-Tastic

I live in the northeast, Rhode Island to be exact. So whenever the weather gets even remotely nice, us new-englanders go absolutely ape shit. Oh its 58 and partially cloudy? Off to the beach! It's borderline ridiculous...but we truly relish in the good weather because anytime from October to April it's completely plausible to have a snowstorm. Yep. That's 7 months out of the year if you did the math. It's also more than half the damn year. SOOO today it's 73 degrees. Halle-freaking-lujah. Which means mommy and daddy will be taking bug for a walk. This also means I will be playing with my Nikon today. Yay! Pictures to come of course. But just to hold you over, check out this guy :)



I love flowers. Tulips, Lilies, Sunflowers, you name it. These bad boys were from easter and I just couldn't help myself. Hopefully, I'll get a few good ones today..keep checking in for pictures to come. Comment and subscribe.

The Karate Kid

Sometimes I still wake up in the morning and can't believe I'm a mom. Even after the 39273207402 years that it felt like I was pregnant. I look at her and I can't believe I made a person. Like if you really REALLY think about it...it's a very odd concept to grasp. There was a point in time where there was a PERSON inside me. Maybe it's totally just me...Regardless, this beautiful little girl never ceases to amaze me. I'm definitely already one of those annoying ass moms that has an aneurysm any time their baby does anything...and it doesn't even have to be impressive per se...just adorable...or something I haven't seen her do before. I ogled at her first sneeze,cry,burp,coo,smile, and even the first time she ripped some serious ass. EVERYTHING she does is absolutely adorable.

Unfortunately this post has to be short and sweet as I'm falling asleep sitting up. So to reference my last post about remembering to just keep shooting during photography shoots I wanted to share another photo that I got from remembering this simple idea. This is a shot of my bug from about a week or so ago.



Karate baby :) awesome. More to come. Comment and subscribe!

Just Keep Shooting

Today's post I'm totally going to make worth your while. Why you ask? Well, because not only is today's post hilarious (as per usual) but it also comes coupled with some good news. No...not good news...GREAT, AWESOME, STUPENDOUS, KNOCK-YOUR-FUCKING-SOCKS-OFF news.

To begin, one thing I've learned in my photography journey is to just keep shooting. I had read hours and hours worth of factoids, advise, and tips on how to better you photography and get the best possible results. And one of the best tips I've received thus far, hands down, is to just keep shooting. Sometimes without setting up or perfecting the shot you can get this ridiculously awesome picture. Some of the best pictures I've gotten (this really only applies to moving subjects) are from continuous shots. Now I do still take my time throughout the shoot but, man those unplanned shots can really be something else. Now I know you want to see my all time favorite unplanned shot. Well here, take a look at this gem:



This is my puppy Sadee (as seen in "Ode to a Nikon") in all her sad, sad glory. Yep. If she had a facebook she DEFINITELY would have untagged that bad larry. I was so proud of taking this shot (and a few of the good ones of my bug, which i will follow up with in another post) and I would have never gotten it (or the mindless hours of laughing that followed) had it not been for my "just keep shooting" mantra. Just keep shooting, just keep shooting, shooting, shooting.

And that brings me to my ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWING SO EXCITING news. IT HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN ANNOUNCED. After 10 years. TEN LONG AWAITED YEARS, they finally announced the sequel to Finding Nemo!!!



Not only am I fucking obsessed with Disney, Pixar, and all things related, but Ellen Degeneres is one of my favorite people of all time. Combine that shit together and you got one happy mama. I'm not so excited about having to wait another 2 years for it to be finished....but I think one of the biggest reasons I'm so elated is because this time around, I'll get to share it with my daughter and I can't freaking WAIT :D

Rubber Ducky You're NOT the One

Ahhh baths. I'm infamous for liking them far more than any human really should. Any opportunity to take a bath, bubbles or not, count my ass in. There's nothing more comforting, relaxing, and just down right flipping awesome. A couple candles, a glass of wine...need I continue? And don't get me wrong , I do enjoy me a good shower, but there's nothing comparable to a bath, especially one in an appropriately sized tub. So to me, a jacuzzi tub is like the taj mahal of bathtubs.

Well apparently my love of bathing is NOT an inherent trait. My bug, loves the shower. Put her in her little baby tub and she bawls uncontrollably, and not like a I'm-starving-feed-me-you-crazy-bitch cry, it's more along the lines of how I'd imagine she'd cry if she fell down a flight of stairs and landed in a pile of broken glass. And to a mother, this cry is HEARTBREAKING. How am I supposed to bathe you, little peanut, if you are crying so hard you're practically purple.

Now to get slightly off topic (but I promise it'll make sense VERY soon). The other day I was doing a photo shoot with her (yes, I'm totally crazy, I know. I'm one of THOSE moms), she was NOT feeling the whole naked thing. I had turned up the heat so high it felt like we were on the surface of the fucking sun AND had a heating pad underneath the blanket I had her on her just like they tell you to do for newborn shoot and this little girl was NOT having it. So what did I do to calm her down you ask? I sang to her. And not just any normal soft lullaby, nope, not this mama. For some reason "you are my sunshine" and "twinkle twinkle little star" had completely escaped me. So I sang soft kitty to her. YES. I'm being dead serious.

For those of you who have not heard of this song it's from one of my favorite shows, the Big Bang Theory. And it goes a little something like this: *AHEM* "Soft kitty, Warm Kitty, Little ball of fur. Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr. Purr. Purr." Short and sweet and not profane (which I'm sure surprised you if you haven't heard of the song). But that shit worked like a damn charm! So here I am with my camera shooting away taking pictures and singing this ridiculous song. And this baby is in a trance like no other! Now back to my original story, just like I promised.

Every bath time now requires a little karaoke on my part now. So anytime my stinkbug needs a bath, it's up to her little tiny baby tub we go and mommy sits there singing this stupid ass song. But guess what? IT WORKS. Lord, knows why, because apparently she could give a shit less about my little songs that I make up and sing to her (which are pretty damn awesome if you ask me).

But the best part of bathtime is definitely those ridiculously cute hooded towels. AH. Don't even get me started. Functional and adorable. Don't believe me? Here, take a look at the worlds CUTEST frog:



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